Phrases/Quotes I will never forget

Allah: Say oh you who disbelieve, I worship which not you worship, Mom: Do not forget who you are. Dad: Do not go to school and focus on those boys Habib: Never come back home, El Amin: Have Fun at College,  Mr. Stag: You are going to do so well Robert: Time speaks for itself, Taneesha C.- We all see the same shit just through different eyes, Ezi- Real girls are not perfect; Perfect girls are not real, Calvin: If a dude really likes you, you will know, Chardae: Do you really think you're good enough Malcolm X: I read, I saw, African folk tale: As close as the teeth is to the tongue it bites it sometimes African folk tale: The silence of a lamb is not a sign of cowardness, Muhammad (pbuh) The world is hell for the faithful and paradise for the disbelievers, Muhammed Ali-  Fly like a butterfly sting like a bee, Unknown- Hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard, Lupe Fiasco-  Sometimes the silence is worse than the violence, Nas: I know I can be what I want to be, Nicky Minaj- No I'm not lucky, I'm blessed yes, Lauryn Hill- Some guys are only about that thing, Speaker: Chase your dreams or watch others live it Grandma: You know who you love but you don't know who loves you, Christina: You are beautiful no matter what they say, Nas: Before we came to this country we were kings and queens never poor hungry's, M.L.K- Any religion that professes to be concerned about a man's soul but is not concerned about the slums that damn them, the economic conditions that strangle them, and social conditions that cripple them is a moribound religion awaiting burial, M.L.K-  my race, my cause is worth dying for, Thomas Jefferson All men are created equal. Lupe- I was once that little boy terrified of the world now I'm on world tour; they say hip hop on a destroy I tell em look at me boy, Jay Z- I'm from rag to riches, Unknown: to get something you never had do something you  never done, Mohandas K. Gandhi- an eye for an eye will make the whole world blind, Fredrick Douglas - without struggle; there is no progress.

My Dream ahh

Dreams are such cliche's right? Well if you think so then get off my blog lol. Just playing. But really I  want to achieve ...... you fill in the dots. Since I was younger I wanted to change the world in a positive way of course. Through music and the little brain that I have. Little by little I will expand my ideas and formulate my plan you will see. It will almost seem like I came out of nowhere. One thing I learned is you can really do anything you put your mind too and this is the secret to success. But when you really want something you have to block everyone out and focus with your eyes like wake up everyday and eat sleep and breathe that shi*.  Excuse my language lol. For instance when you tell yourself that you can do something you can, when you tell yourself you can't do something you can't. My problem was in the past and even now a lack of confidence. Even when I look back at high school I realize I could have done so much better academically but I kept telling myself I was not an A student. I never did bad I remained an A B student but I could have excelled more. I put myself to a test junior and senior year and I told myself I am      smart I can do this and with good use of time effort and focus I achieved all A's. Even my teacher whom I had all four years noticed. One day she asked when did you become such a genius? It was not that I was stupid before it was simply a lack of confidence which caused me not to be who I could be potentially. I knew I could do it but I felt it wasn't in my place to excel that much so I didn't. This may sound stupid but if you think about it most of us do it all the time. We tell ourselves it is impossible for me to accomplish something because it is way out of our league. If you think about it, you will realize this doubt in our minds is true. I believe even the most confident people doubt themselves. This week in my commutations 100 class I watched a speech by Steve Jobs who just passed R.I.P, and he stated something that changed my life forever. He said if you are going to make a decision think to yourself if I died today would I want to do this? If the answer is no then you know the decision you are about to make is the wrong one.  This is the most simplistic view point and perfect response I have ever heard on decision making.  I will carry this phrase with me forever.

Why? Answers I always wanted to know.

Yess, I love to ask questions, why? Yes, that is your boyfriend I said he was cute he said I was too. You mad? Why?  Your hair is not done why? This blog is killing me why? I have to write grammatically correct just to prove I'm educated why? I have to read. study. learn. just to make a decent amount of money legally and earn a degree why? We all die why?  We talk all the time on Facebook but in person you're a stranger why? You're reading this blog, why? The day I make it you're going to be all in my face like we use to be mad close why?  Why did this girl ask me where I bought my shoes today? You do not have you're own style why? Why do you stare at me boy like everyday? Why do you think I'm rude when i'm just speaking the truth? Why does everything have to be perfect I am only human? You have tattoos so that means you're cool why? You don't understand me why? LOVE is o hard to find, why?You think you fly cause you can afford Gucci why? You said I was ugly but now you're asking for my number why? You stabbed me in the back and tried to hide the knife why? You go out of your way to get buzz instead of being yourself why? You automatically assume you're getting all these girls cause you have a car, why? You cut the middle of you're eyebrows why? You wear vans because of the pack song from 2006 why? You say Nicky Minaj can't rap but you blasting Romans Revenge in your car why? You hate me on a regular but love me when you need me why? You're fake, why? You think I'm pretty why?  You think I'm ugly why? You underestimated my talent why? Hip hop is dead. why? I am doing this blog three times a week why? I am catching a cold, why? I have a test tomorrow, why? My butt hurts why? He said he will always be there but left, why? You're a liar why? Shorty always trying to fit in, why? You don't' believe in marriage why? You pierced your tongue why? If you're mad right now, why? It's eleven I have to wake up at seven and  I'm still up why? Life is not fair why? Things never go as planned why? I am chaste and you don't understand, why? Your name is Abdul Malik Muhammad but you're not muslim why? You calling me a nobody but always trying to hold a convo with me why? You think I'm smart but I'm really retarded why?You think I'm different but I'm just like everybody else why? You said my song is dope but you didn't download it why? You call me sister but you're never there for me why? College is a lot of work and this is not the hard part why? You smile in my face but hate me why? You want to see me fail but I always prevail why? God loves me why? You don't why? You think this is pointless why? I told you the truth and you got mad why? You expect so much from me why? Bad things are easy to do, Good things are difficult to do why? You don't study and try to cheat of my test why? You're always asking me for my notes in class. You don't take your own WHY?

Miscelleneous

I have been having trouble blogging lately. It is not because I can not write, spell or read obviously. It is because my life is boring, truthfully. Maybe it is because I  am sort of a boring person, honestly. I mean I wake up in morning brush my teeth, shower, pray, go to school, listen to music, do unnecessary homework, get on Facebook, talk on the phone to the same people, write a free write poem and go to sleep. Then I do this same exact routine the next day. I want something new, fresh and exciting in life.  I want to wake up in the morning and say I can not wait to get my day started because I know something interesting is going to happen. I do have these days but not very often. Music is my stimulation from the outside world. Doing homework makes me feel productive. Writing is my therapy from all the emotional and spiritual pain I go through. I guess this blog is going somewhere huh? I keep playing this new song by Rihanna over and over, We found love. I know my roommate is getting pissed off by me playing this over and over but she'll be alright.  I love the beat but it is more than the beat that has me intrigued in this song. I can easily connect with the words. The words give me hope.  I do not feel like elaborating how so I will not. I wish I could write poetry in this because every blog would seriously be a poem. Thanks for the option, Professor Pack.
This week I lowered my pride to find out why someone stopped talking to me and I still received no response. Lesson number five hundred billion learned never lower your pride for anybody. I guess at times I either care too much or I do not give two jacks. What is a jack by the way? I am way too nice because I know when I leave someone I am never coming back. That is why I give people two chances then you're out. You might not care now until you need me for something. Trust me you will one day, it happens all the time. Then I will be like haha sucker, you were not there when I needed you. I am kind of weird by way. Anyways, why do guys think they can just honk their horn at you or whistle when they see you? That is my number one pet peeve do not honk your horn at me, whistle or whisper to me because I will give you the look :p. For instance, today I was at the train station waiting for the bus and this random cab driver honked his horn at me. That is not it when I did not respond he had the audacity to turn his car around. I mean what is wrong with these guys now a days? Well, this is the reason why my mom needs to hurry up and buy me a yellow 2012 mustang so I no longer have to take the bus. In my dreams right? Speaking of dreams time for me to go to sleep. Goodnight <3's

Before I was ugly

 It was the winter of 1966, in Horsham; London,  and Jonathon Langue boarded the freight train with his girlfriend Jenny going north to Oxford.  The train was unsettle yet easy on the tracks like the moonlight in the sky on a Paris evening under the eiffel tower. The rows were jam packed with heads of unfamiliar faces possibly because it was the last 8:00 a.m. train to Oxford, Jonathon thought. Jonathan loved to read the weekly comics in the newspaper and he usually made fun of the array of manipulated faces with his girlfriend Jenny. Jenny would always advise him to stop (elaborate). Jenny was twenty-one years old, two years younger than Jonathon and she had a passion for arguing over the most absurd topics. This may explain her desire to become a lawyer and earn her braggart rights after completing her last year at Oxford University. “I want to attend law school at Harvard University,” Jenny said with a tone of determination. “Oh, stick a sock in it Jenny,” Jonathan exclaimed. “You are such an over achiever,” he stated.  “And you are wonderfully obtuse Jonathan,” Jenny stated. “That is why I love you,” she added.
“What the hell is the meaning of obtuse?” Jonathan replied.  Jenny giggled at John’s ignorance with a sly grin. “Oh someone has been paying attention in English seminar,” Jenny stated with a thick British accent and slight dash of sarcasm.” “Whatever, our fat fuck professor is from India.” “What the hell does Professor Patel know about English?” Jonathan replied. “You are such a narrow minded imbecile,” Jenny responded.  “All you carry around is that foolish mirror, and you’re always looking at your reflection like you’re some sort of god,” Jenny said. “Maybe I am, John stated egotistically. “That is how I got you is it not, my love?” John stated with narcissism, while looking at his dingy mirror. “Ugh, Jenny said in disgust.”  “If you were not a handsome lad, I do not think I would be in this relationship, she stated.” “Really,” John asked with a concerned tone. “Really,” Jenny reiterated.  Jonathon and Jenny were dating for three years now, and Jenny was beginning to think deeply about their relationship. Jonathan had a tendency to tease  and belittle people who he considered to be ugly. Jenny was tired of John’s constant teasing and harassment towards others.

Lust for life

My definition of lust is a concrete rather than an abstract attraction to a certain figure or physical object. People these days confuse love and lust very frequently. If you are attracted to someone or something primarily for its physical features this is lust. If you're attracted to someone or something for its spiritual, emotional and abstract features I believe this is close to love. Personally I have a lust for life. The reason is I am attracted to the good things it brings from a materialistic aspect. Most people will not admit but that is the main reason why they are in college. People believe when they come to college they will receive a degree which would automatically get them a job when they graduate. Well this is what the media and society inform the public. Besides that point I want the best things out of life but I have to work hard for it. My dreams are huge so it is time to kick in the gear and do what I have to do to make them reality. I'm sometimes thinking to myself it's a great thing to dream but what happens after you make them reality and then you die? I mean some say your mark on life will never die. I was watching something about Steve Jobs yesterday in my communications class and he said something that will change my life forever. He said if you want to make a decision and you think to yourself if I was going to die today would I do this and the answer is no you know you're doing something wrong. From now on I will make every decision like it is my last.

The world in conversation project at Penn State University

      My older brother Habib once told me that his high school English teacher stated a "valid" comment on the ability of students to write based on their race. Her exact words were, " I can tell the difference between an English essay written by a black student from an English essay written by a white student." From a technical perspective, how many black or white students has this high school teacher had, for her to base and reason the capability of the prose and language of her particular students essays, and generalize it as the same capability of racial groups all over the Nation? She is effectively rational indeed. Her reason for black students not being able to write effectively was because blacks usually communicate in ebonics. Therefore, Asians, Latinos and Caucasians do not speak in colloquial terms. Before, I continue to enumerate the reasons this teacher deserves praise, I want to discuss an interesting project that was done at Pennsylvania State University which highlights the ambiguities in stereotypes.
On September 14, 2011 the communication classes at Penn State met together to discuss the topic of race. At the beginning of the conversation the students were afraid to speak up. However, as the conversation progressed the emotions and conflicts that each us had to face with our experiences of racism began to illuminate. One of the African American females in the room explained how she felt when she was the only African American in an English class. "I felt like I had to prove I was educated to represent blacks in a  positive way," she stated.

the vitality of Forgiveness

Imagine, a time when you were entering your job and as you walked in you accidently bumped into a co-worker exiting the building. What did you do next? You most likely apologized, however the person you bumped into responded with anger and tells you they do not forgive you.  What did you think of that person?  We may do wrong upon others and automatically expect them to forgive us. However, when something is wrong done to us we tend to bear grudges.  Robert Frost once stated "Nothing can make injustice just but mercy." There are various examples of people who have fought injustice through having mercy on the opposer.  For example, Prophet Muhammed was born in Mecca, Medina and was a messenger during a time when the Middle East had a battlefield struggle with the Persian Empire. During this particular time the message of Islam was unfamiliar to the people of Medina and the task of Prophet Muhammad was to spread the message.
Many horrific acts were happening in Mecca, Medina during this period. Little girls were being buried alive merely because they were girls. Drinking and drugs were common activities being done by mankind at that time similar to present times. According to the holy Qu'ran, Muhammed (pbuh) was sent by Allah (swt) the creator of mankind, to profess his knowledge of the oneness of God and help mankind better themselves spiritually and mentally. However, the new message was rejected by the people of Medina and Muhammed  (pbuh) was ridiculed throughout the city and accused him of telling tales and myths. Children would throw rocks at him and stone the messenger of God. He would still remain patient and never retaliated.

Hearts conflict

        If we constantly look for love we will never be successful in finding it. We have to let love find us. Similar to how the bee finds the flower even though the bee holds the sweet honey. Have you ever realized that the flower does not try to find the honey as sweet as it is? The flower remains patient and as soon as the bee comes to it, the flower leans naturally like a lily flower facing the sun. There is something special about good things that we have to wait for, it makes it all the worth while and us more appreciative when we receive it. Easier said than done, right? As frank as the singer Jazmin Sullivan asked "Why do we love love when love seems to hate us?" Her question is definitely interesting to think about. Many may not know the answer to this question right away and that is okay. However, if you really think about it our hearts have a conflict naturally built within us fighting against being alone. Most of us have the fear that if we do not have a companion we are not complete. This is not only thought of typically in a romantic relationship, but as well as having the need to make friends in order to feel worthy. Of course we should not be loners and isolate ourselves from the rest of the world. I believe we should understand the difference between the desire to be in love and the actuality of being in love.
In the story titled "What we talk about when we talk about love," the author Raymond Carver creates a contrast on our  modern day conception of love in distinction to the understanding of love in the past. Carver defines the love of modern times as physical, lustful and sentimental. Whilst he offers an example of an old couple who miss each other to the extent  of them becoming depressed because they were apart.
     

The leaves fell in Spring

     My New Jersey suburban house is always filled with family members from New York to Chicago. When you walk in my brown maroon house your nose will be politely welcomed with the smell of pot roast and sweet potatoes. My house is the neighborhood house because everyone is welcomed to come in. It is like a  bird's nest in the winter time. Evan, the ragged newspaper boy persistently stops by my house every friday to eat my grandma's famous sweet potato pie. I would watch him as he licked his fat fingers from his palms to his dirty fingernails after he devoured the meal.  My mother Shade' constantly advised me to be polite to Evan but he was so greedy and annoying, that is why I never let him in when I was alone in the house. Saturday mornings when my parents went to work he would come at 8:00 am to drop off the New York times newspaper. He would ring the bell numerous times so that I would answer it and say good morning to him. Instead I would heavily swing the door open and yell what in his face. Evan would admiringly smile and hand me the newspaper, "Have a beautiful day Ayinke," he would say . This kid was abnormal. Evan stands at 5'2, which is shorter than me and something I never thought was possible. He has a  round belly and basically reminds me of a hippopotamus. The headline of the New York Times inscribed "The leaves fell in spring." The headline was peculiar and I was never interested in reading the newspaper but this article instantly caught my eye. The article read: In New Jersey today the winter of 2025  it is so hot that a couple went outside to buy some ice cream and it melted before the money was handed to the seller. I licked my lips and my saliva burnt my lip. The weather seems very surreal these days.

The Scream From the alley

I heard the old mans voice screaming from the alley sounding like a dying cat. The alley was pitch black, and I just left my lonely footprints from the alley a mile back. The wind was angry. I was walking home alone after my high school Warriors football game. We won 20-7 and the football players threw an after party to celebrate the homecoming game victory against the Lions. It is 11:00 pm, my mom does not know I snuck out the house to see the game and my boyfriend Jay left me to go to the after party. Ugh, he makes me feel like crap at times. I am so scared. What if someone murdered the old man in the alley? What if the person tries to murder me? All I have is pepper spray and my lips are chapped from the harsh wind. I hear foot steps about a quarter mile behind me. I hate being alone. I call my boyfriend for security and I hear "Yo, it's Jay I couldn't get to the phone so leave a message." Of course at the scariest point in my life I get smacked with his voicemail. The foot steps are getting closer, I hear two guys talking  in the background. Blood rushes to my heart and I begin to walk at a faster pace. My foot gets scuffed in leaves and I trip over a twig. I am such an idiot, now I have caught the attention of the two guys.  One of the guys has a butcher knife in his hands and he walks pompously with an evil grin. I get up and try to run but it is a dead end road. I am breathing at one-hundred miles per hour and the creepy guy looks at me like I am his next victim. The other guy has a wolf on his back with a knife jabbed on the head. These guys are not normal I need to get out of here. There is no way out, I am looking left and right but there is no way to turn. The only thing I can do is face these ruffians. My step father is president Obama and he will have your  butt's in jail if you come any closer to me, I shout. They laugh, that is why you were with Sasha and Malia during inauguration? Epic fail, I think to myself.

First week of school as a college freshman

Hearing thirty voices at once whilst walking through the hallways, feeling lost, confused and anxious.  As a college freshman the new world can be so exciting and also overwhelming. Within the first week alone, I missed three buses to get to school and bugged my roommate for a ride everyday. Each day I meet like thirty new faces and I never remember anyone's name even after having full blown conversations with them. The routine of high school compared to college is completely different. What is my purpose of attending college?  In English class I have learned about American history, how to find my voice and how to reflect on my past which molded me into who am I today. In Mathematics, I am learning about the roots of words and prefixes such as penta, which is the prefix for five and septa which is the prefix for seven derived from Latin and etc. In African American history, I am learning how to be more open minded, speak with confidence, project my voice and be proud of who I am. In a nut shell, each class I attend does not teach me what it is actually intended to teach. I believe the material I am paying 30k + a year for can be learned in normal everyday life.  However, in these two weeks, it has hit me that you are really on your own  in college. I mean everyone tells you this, but it does not really sink in until your parents drop you off with the hugs, kisses, goodbyes and you're in class the third week with a quiz in front of you. So far I have learned that YOU are responsible for your own education, no one is behind your back begging you to do your work. Networking is key. If you try to kiss your professors butt he or she will know and it will not boost your grade but you should also attempt to develop a relationship with them. Even Albert Einstein has to study if he is trying to pass with an A at least. My new friends have saved me from turning in a late paper and they have motivated me to get involved. You do not have to be afraid to speak up, because almost everyone feels the same way. You will probably do the most reading you ever did in your life; well if you decide to do it.  Therefore college is an essential experience when it comes to maturing and growing.  Everyone is so welcoming at Penn State Abington, I love it here.