I get that a lot.

You weird
Different
Nobody
Ugly
Pretty
Quiet
Making it in life
Big lips
Pretty eyes
Big gap

Impossible to find

Believes in God
In school/college
No kids
No insecurities
A job that pays over $10 an hour
Attractive
Not only after that one thing
Ambitious
Smart
Not a smoker/drinker
Clean dresser
Muslim
No ex wives
Faithful
Loves everything about you

Bullshitt

You have been in a relationship for over six
years and he didn't put a ring on it cuz he's
not ready yet? Bullshitt
He loves you but he's messing around
with every girl that comes around and
he never talked about establishing anything?
Bullshitt
They tell you you can't do something
because they can't? Bullshitt
Your teacher underestimates your intelligence
and tells you your not dumb you just need
to apply yourself? Bullshitt
Because your black you can not speak
grammatically correct and raise
your hand in class to answer questions?
Bullshitt
It really costs you 20k or over a year because
 your college has to maintain the school?
Bullshitt
They call you ugly because they don't understand
your beauty and they want you to have low
self esteem like them? Bullshitt
Someone randomly asks you a question
and when you want to know why they ask
they say "just asking." Bullshitt
Martin Luther King Jr. can resist
against violence but can't resist
in the bedroom and prevent cheating
on his wife? Bullshitt
Show your ass a titties if you're
a female trying to make it in the music industry
because thats the only way you can
attract an audience? Bullshitt
He/she says they're different from
the rest? Bullshitt
You bad bitch? Bullshitt
He calls you wifey without
a ring on your finger and you
feel special haha bullshitt

God, music and College= life tomorrow is not promised

God, music and college are my life. I  remember when I use to say God is with me mommy lol. Definitely have been trying to strengthen my faith because tomorrow is not promised. I asked my self two nights where do I think I would go if I died tomorrow? Heaven or Hell?  I had no answer and in order to be more secure with that answer I need to become the best possible person I can be in life. Music is my life even though I have not fulfilled her to the full extent we will meet one day hand in hand and never let go. College is the main focus right now thats the real reason why I haven't pursued music to my full potential. I can't wait to fully come out I'm ready to change the world for the better. The semester is almost over and its crazy I feel like I'm growing up too fast lol. After high school it seems everything is a blur and life just flies by. Tomorrow is not promised.

thought I was ugly

If you saying that I'm ugly
then I feel bad for your eyes
cuz they will never get a chance
to lay their vision on a prize
if it wasn't for the music
I would've met my demise
think you living on the truth
but you dying with the lies
 my heart  use to hate me
wanted to escape me
thought that I was ugly
cuz they didn't want
to date me
now I'm sentencing
lyrics after he tried
to rape me
now my life is becoming
clearer as I realize







Lions keep glaring at me
black eyes breathing
fighting against evil bad spirits
not leaving f shaytaan
middle finger to the heathens
its only Allah that I'm pleasing
and believe in
unfaithful ones need to see him to believe
him  spitting for the  fame
nah I'm spitting for a reason
lost souls with no goals
looking for a home
and its cold outside
so I'm always out alone
Qulhuwallahuahadin Allahusamudin
God is the only one can't  nobody stand above him
dont censor the curse nigga censor my music
the media is cowards so they mute what the truth is
when I'm done in the booth I swear to leave em
toothless these days lies is showing love
and honesty is ruthless, I choose this route, then I  move this out,
lying and then crying; you the creulest out,
sinning without acknowledgence now you fearing the consequence?
its apostorous, how you goon be content with being monstrous
boasting about your wrongs now you losing your confidence?
toasting to other songs like their really your accomplishments.
ppl start to change when the money and the fame come but Ima stay same
cuz I never been a lame bumb,  scrutinizing slums, then they losing like
they won, coming back looking for more but you don't really want none
you the same one, we equal, we taking energy in from the same sun
the sky gray nigga its a sad day nigga,  its a bad day figure
you spitting bs cuz you got nothing to lose,relying on the beat, its called rhythmetic abuse tie your own laces no one can fit in your shoes
spitting for many years spitting for many hours I planted the seed my flow
blossomed into rose flowers



I want violets in my grave


you see the conscious and my wit
with ever







life is too short
so im

ILoveYou

Why would you tell her that you love her

knowing you only want to fuck her ?

Telling her you want to cuff her

but you're not thinking nothing of her

Making her feel like your love will truly  be

the healing...for her pain

I always wanted to know if men

really have feelings?

or when some of you lie do you ever have shame?

OH I get it as long as your semen is ejected then you don't give

a damn if her feelings are rejected.

the only thing you envision is your penis

and her vagina being connected

so you tell her you love her...with the sad

face eyes and the sin filled lips

filled with the bold face I love you's that really don't exist

Sex is your master your dick is the whip

after you're done picking cotton then you 

feel like you're the shitt 

admit just to make sure she believes you

you seal your lies with a kiss

leaving her with no voice and no choice

but to believe you after this

She thinks to herself he really loves me he really cares

he's different from the rest

but she never noticed the silence

of your heart beat when she

lays her head on your chest

your heartless lies are literally crushing

her hopes and dreams

of  marrying prince charming

when you're only a walking semen

waiting to get in her

and you wouldn't even be her coat

if she was butt naked cold in the winter

when you look in her eyes don't you see your

mothers cries

the same guys that played your mother in the past with the same

disguise

you are the reason for babies being born out of wedlock

so don't ask your dead beat father why??

you are a walking emotionless zombie with no purpose

but fulfilling your animalistic desires

in and out in and out of her vagina lips

giving you temporary power

how powerful are you?

after you hit it once then you never came back

well a hit and run is a misdeamener motherfucker

you gon have to serve some jail time for that

hurting her will not raise your worth as a human being

you have killed more generations than Europeans

with your slave eyes that you see in

with you're fake passionate smile

and your crusty ass feet

afraid to offer her true love

so you offer her your

rotten meat 

you thinking you're playing 

her but its only your heart you deceive 

cuz the day that you're really in love 

and you get down on one knee

she'll know that you're a liar 

and tell you she found out about your

sexually transmitted disease 

Agenda in Life before I die

Happiness [ X]
Success   [X]
Rapping [X]
Love []
Marriage []
Children []
Making a difference []
in the world
Doing Good in School[/]
Spiritually inclined [X]
Forgiving my Enemies []
Live life like there's no tomorrow []
Performing []
Getting poetry published [/]
Making others feel better [idk]

Fear

Fear of failure. Fear of not making it. Fear of being hurt. Fear of not achieving my goals and realizing my dreams. Fear of never reaching my full potential. Fear of never being in love.

He doesn't know

He doesn't know how much I look at his
profile (not a stalker lol)
He doesn't know how I much I notice him
more than he notices me
he doesn't know how badly I want him to approach me
he doesn't know how hard it is for me not to look
at him
he doesn't know how interested I am in him
He doesn't know this blog is about him
and he'll never be able to guess
he doesn't know how much I admire
his energy
he doesn't know how fast my heart
skips when he comes into the room
he doesn't know how badly
I want to get to know him
he doesn't know how much I think
about him and why he is always staring
he doesn't know how sad I am to find out
he might be leaving
he doesn't know how badly I want to talk
to him but I'm afraid and I don't want
him to think I'm just another girl who likes him
and he doesn't have to work for me
he doesn't know ....but I want him too..
without getting hurt.

Guys that stare part 2

Here's a story about a guy that use to stare at me days on end my junior year of high school I'm going to be as honest and precise with this story as possible. So the story goes like this I use to sit in the cafeteria with my friend Yana and Cedes during lunch. I would always mind my business get my lunch and as I'm walking back to my table this dude who sat in the table in front of me would just stare until I sat in my seat. His table was in front of mine and he was seated with his back facing mine but would always would manage to turn around and look at my face.  So yeah I'm like maybe its just me thinking he's looking he's not paying me any attention. I'm thinking in my head I swear someone is always looking at me lol. That same night he adds me on fb. I'm not putting any names out there. So yeah I post up a status and he always likes it lol. I'm like ok thats cool it's only a status whatever. I put up another status like "you slept on me so now ill be you're worst nightmare."  He decides to comment and say something like oh if you ever need anyone I'm here for you I would never hurt you. This is scary cuz idk this dude from anywhere what you mean I'm here for you? smh people are crazy. But thats not even the crazy part. So yeah he keeps staring in school never says anything just stares and to add to that not attractive at all.  I hate calling people unattractive because beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder but his unattractiveness was too evident.  He'll probably find a good girl but I was not her. Back to the story, the next day he continues to stare for like a period of 2 weeks and he decides to message me on Facebook. He's like wasssup? I didn't want to respond but I was like ill be nice and say hey. He responds: like I see you in school we never really spoke but you bad ass hell and I would be cool if we were only friends. Whats your number? #1 don't say we never really spoke because we never spoke at all and we have no mutual friends what so ever so I don't know you. #2 We would only be friends because you're not attractive and I'm not over exaggerating. It was scary to have someone like that staring on a daily basis. #3 He wrote to me a sif we knew each other like we possibly had a connection that I didn't know anything about that was crazy. But yea this just goes to show how confident unattractive dudes are and are never afraid to make a move when they stare. But the attractive guys never make moves.

Guys that stare

I mean I have been through this a million times in my life. I just feel like getting it off my chest. Why do guys stare? Like continuously days on end? Am I that interesting to look at? It's so annoying. Well not all the time but like if you feel the need to stare so much just speak. Only if you're decent looking of course. I'm not shallow but I do not want to get to know you as more than a friend if you do not even look decent enough to look at. I'm always trying to figure out what a guy is thinking when he stares. I'm in my own world minding my business turn around and a random guy is staring dead in my face wtf do you want? lol It's mad creepy to just sit and stare and not say anything. Especially if we never had a conversation cause that just means you're staring for the hell of it. I always wanted to know why a guy would rather stare at me than speak. It's crazy because the ones that stare that I want to say something never do. But the unattractive, ones that stare are the most bold and confident and always speak. It is so ironic to me that unattractive guys are more confident than attractive guys. I feel like unattractive guys are use to rejection therefore, if you say no they don't care. But it will crush an attractive guys heart if he was rejected. I guess. IDK.  But I don't think I'm that pretty but like some of these guys are too confident. I'm mean the unattractive ones. I can look past looks up to a certain extent. But if you can't even get your hair cut and switch up your hoodie's during the week don't talk to me. lol   Maybe guys that stare are shy. Idk or maybe you're staring in a bad way like why she look like that lol??? Idk what to think when guys stare at me,  I always wanted to know.

Old Me vs NEW ME (reflection) 14-15 vs 17-18

The old me would have been down and sad that you didn't text me back. But the new me did not even notice. The old me would've hit you, fought you and disgraced you for calling me a bitch but the new me will tell you lames such as you do not exist. The old me would care that you stopped talking to me over a period of three months the new me just would not give a fuck. The old me would have cried for getting a C on a test but the new me would just work harder and do better on the next one. The old me would care that you're a fake friend and even care to ask why you changed?  The new me would expect you to be fake because it's human nature. The old me would want to fight you if you were rude. The new me would feel bad for you because you hate yourself thats y you feel the need to be rude to others in order to make yourself feel better.  I won't even ask y you're not talking to me cuz idgaf. The old me would approach you if you were talking badly about me behind my back and be upset. The new me would be happy because it means I'm important in your life and you must be jealous if you feel the need to talk about me. The old me would be surprised if something went wrong the new me would expect it.  The old me would be nervous around you the new me would look at you as a human being. The old me would care about you the new me does not.

I Want that love

I want that love that will last for eternity until were in our heaven beds. I want that love that has our heart beating at the same time. I want that love that makes us have an in depth understanding of one another. I want that love that it is so deep I do not have to tell you something is wrong before you know. I want that love that I don't have to continuously tell you I love you for it to show. That love that makes my heart skip beats every time we meet. That love that makes my private cringe. That love that makes my head feel light and my worries go away. That love that makes me not want to go apart from you in even one day. That love that makes me feel like the world to you. That love that makes you the world to me. That love that never dies. That love that will always survive. That love that God is the force and we are the union. That love that keeps us together. That love surrounded and cherished by our imperfections. That love that I dream of is only a blessing.