Maybe

Maybe I received another chance cause God wanted to see if I would change.  Maybe my natural hair is nappy to symbolize the hard work and pain of my ancestors. Maybe we can never be cause he's Asian and I'm African. Maybe the end of the world is coming soon and the disbelievers will not believe until they're right in front of God asking for a second chance. Maybe we will all go to heaven. Maybe I dream a little too much. Maybe there will be a day I can have an understanding with my enemies. Maybe there will be a day the world will read my blog and listen to my music. Maybe I will achieve all my goals with hard work and dedication. Maybe one day you can look past the complexion of my skin. Maybe one day you can put jealousy aside and appreciate a person for who they are. Maybe I'm doing this blog to vent out problems that most people don't care about, or are happy that I have them. Maybe I need to believe in myself more. Maybe I'm from another planet. Maybe we all die to hug God in person. Maybe I came to college cuz I need to mature and understand this world a little better. Maybe I always procrastinate cuz I'm lazy and I don't feel like doing work. Maybe I need to realize the world doesn't revolve around me. Maybe, not. Maybe I turned him off cuz he misunderstood me for being conceited instead of a little confident. Maybe I just wasted four years of my life in high school cuz none of the material learned there is learned in college. Maybe I sound retarded cuz I'm writing whatever comes to mind. Maybe I need another vacation so I can come back fully prepared to do all this work. Maybe I love music because I feel like I can escape reality. Maybe Professor Pack wants our class to do a blog because he wants to know more about our personal lives lol. Maybe people hate me because they don't understand me. Maybe people love because they understand how honest I can be. Maybe I can't cry when I'm sad cuz God made my heart out of steel and expects me to be stronger. Maybe I was blessed with a talent to save the world. Maybe I think to big and do to little. Maybe you always try to make me feel small in order to try to make yourself feel better. Maybe you will never feel better. Maybe I am having too much fun with this blog. Maybe you're bored reading this or you're interested reading this. Maybe you expected more from maybe you expected less. Maybe you thought I cared about your opinion. Maybe I smile way too much and maybe you thought I had a thing for you because of that. Maybe we have an African and American president because the world is going to end soon. Maybe the rich get richer and the poor get poorer because in the after life the rich will be poor and the poor will be rich. Maybe I made a positive difference in your life after you read this . Maybe.  Just maybe.......

Phrases/Quotes I will never forget

Allah: Say oh you who disbelieve, I worship which not you worship, Mom: Do not forget who you are. Dad: Do not go to school and focus on those boys Habib: Never come back home, El Amin: Have Fun at College,  Mr. Stag: You are going to do so well Robert: Time speaks for itself, Taneesha C.- We all see the same shit just through different eyes, Ezi- Real girls are not perfect; Perfect girls are not real, Calvin: If a dude really likes you, you will know, Chardae: Do you really think you're good enough Malcolm X: I read, I saw, African folk tale: As close as the teeth is to the tongue it bites it sometimes African folk tale: The silence of a lamb is not a sign of cowardness, Muhammad (pbuh) The world is hell for the faithful and paradise for the disbelievers, Muhammed Ali-  Fly like a butterfly sting like a bee, Unknown- Hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard, Lupe Fiasco-  Sometimes the silence is worse than the violence, Nas: I know I can be what I want to be, Nicky Minaj- No I'm not lucky, I'm blessed yes, Lauryn Hill- Some guys are only about that thing, Speaker: Chase your dreams or watch others live it Grandma: You know who you love but you don't know who loves you, Christina: You are beautiful no matter what they say, Nas: Before we came to this country we were kings and queens never poor hungry's, M.L.K- Any religion that professes to be concerned about a man's soul but is not concerned about the slums that damn them, the economic conditions that strangle them, and social conditions that cripple them is a moribound religion awaiting burial, M.L.K-  my race, my cause is worth dying for, Thomas Jefferson All men are created equal. Lupe- I was once that little boy terrified of the world now I'm on world tour; they say hip hop on a destroy I tell em look at me boy, Jay Z- I'm from rag to riches, Unknown: to get something you never had do something you  never done, Mohandas K. Gandhi- an eye for an eye will make the whole world blind, Fredrick Douglas - without struggle; there is no progress.

My Dream ahh

Dreams are such cliche's right? Well if you think so then get off my blog lol. Just playing. But really I  want to achieve ...... you fill in the dots. Since I was younger I wanted to change the world in a positive way of course. Through music and the little brain that I have. Little by little I will expand my ideas and formulate my plan you will see. It will almost seem like I came out of nowhere. One thing I learned is you can really do anything you put your mind too and this is the secret to success. But when you really want something you have to block everyone out and focus with your eyes like wake up everyday and eat sleep and breathe that shi*.  Excuse my language lol. For instance when you tell yourself that you can do something you can, when you tell yourself you can't do something you can't. My problem was in the past and even now a lack of confidence. Even when I look back at high school I realize I could have done so much better academically but I kept telling myself I was not an A student. I never did bad I remained an A B student but I could have excelled more. I put myself to a test junior and senior year and I told myself I am      smart I can do this and with good use of time effort and focus I achieved all A's. Even my teacher whom I had all four years noticed. One day she asked when did you become such a genius? It was not that I was stupid before it was simply a lack of confidence which caused me not to be who I could be potentially. I knew I could do it but I felt it wasn't in my place to excel that much so I didn't. This may sound stupid but if you think about it most of us do it all the time. We tell ourselves it is impossible for me to accomplish something because it is way out of our league. If you think about it, you will realize this doubt in our minds is true. I believe even the most confident people doubt themselves. This week in my commutations 100 class I watched a speech by Steve Jobs who just passed R.I.P, and he stated something that changed my life forever. He said if you are going to make a decision think to yourself if I died today would I want to do this? If the answer is no then you know the decision you are about to make is the wrong one.  This is the most simplistic view point and perfect response I have ever heard on decision making.  I will carry this phrase with me forever.

Why? Answers I always wanted to know.

Yess, I love to ask questions, why? Yes, that is your boyfriend I said he was cute he said I was too. You mad? Why?  Your hair is not done why? This blog is killing me why? I have to write grammatically correct just to prove I'm educated why? I have to read. study. learn. just to make a decent amount of money legally and earn a degree why? We all die why?  We talk all the time on Facebook but in person you're a stranger why? You're reading this blog, why? The day I make it you're going to be all in my face like we use to be mad close why?  Why did this girl ask me where I bought my shoes today? You do not have you're own style why? Why do you stare at me boy like everyday? Why do you think I'm rude when i'm just speaking the truth? Why does everything have to be perfect I am only human? You have tattoos so that means you're cool why? You don't understand me why? LOVE is o hard to find, why?You think you fly cause you can afford Gucci why? You said I was ugly but now you're asking for my number why? You stabbed me in the back and tried to hide the knife why? You go out of your way to get buzz instead of being yourself why? You automatically assume you're getting all these girls cause you have a car, why? You cut the middle of you're eyebrows why? You wear vans because of the pack song from 2006 why? You say Nicky Minaj can't rap but you blasting Romans Revenge in your car why? You hate me on a regular but love me when you need me why? You're fake, why? You think I'm pretty why?  You think I'm ugly why? You underestimated my talent why? Hip hop is dead. why? I am doing this blog three times a week why? I am catching a cold, why? I have a test tomorrow, why? My butt hurts why? He said he will always be there but left, why? You're a liar why? Shorty always trying to fit in, why? You don't' believe in marriage why? You pierced your tongue why? If you're mad right now, why? It's eleven I have to wake up at seven and  I'm still up why? Life is not fair why? Things never go as planned why? I am chaste and you don't understand, why? Your name is Abdul Malik Muhammad but you're not muslim why? You calling me a nobody but always trying to hold a convo with me why? You think I'm smart but I'm really retarded why?You think I'm different but I'm just like everybody else why? You said my song is dope but you didn't download it why? You call me sister but you're never there for me why? College is a lot of work and this is not the hard part why? You smile in my face but hate me why? You want to see me fail but I always prevail why? God loves me why? You don't why? You think this is pointless why? I told you the truth and you got mad why? You expect so much from me why? Bad things are easy to do, Good things are difficult to do why? You don't study and try to cheat of my test why? You're always asking me for my notes in class. You don't take your own WHY?

Miscelleneous

I have been having trouble blogging lately. It is not because I can not write, spell or read obviously. It is because my life is boring, truthfully. Maybe it is because I  am sort of a boring person, honestly. I mean I wake up in morning brush my teeth, shower, pray, go to school, listen to music, do unnecessary homework, get on Facebook, talk on the phone to the same people, write a free write poem and go to sleep. Then I do this same exact routine the next day. I want something new, fresh and exciting in life.  I want to wake up in the morning and say I can not wait to get my day started because I know something interesting is going to happen. I do have these days but not very often. Music is my stimulation from the outside world. Doing homework makes me feel productive. Writing is my therapy from all the emotional and spiritual pain I go through. I guess this blog is going somewhere huh? I keep playing this new song by Rihanna over and over, We found love. I know my roommate is getting pissed off by me playing this over and over but she'll be alright.  I love the beat but it is more than the beat that has me intrigued in this song. I can easily connect with the words. The words give me hope.  I do not feel like elaborating how so I will not. I wish I could write poetry in this because every blog would seriously be a poem. Thanks for the option, Professor Pack.
This week I lowered my pride to find out why someone stopped talking to me and I still received no response. Lesson number five hundred billion learned never lower your pride for anybody. I guess at times I either care too much or I do not give two jacks. What is a jack by the way? I am way too nice because I know when I leave someone I am never coming back. That is why I give people two chances then you're out. You might not care now until you need me for something. Trust me you will one day, it happens all the time. Then I will be like haha sucker, you were not there when I needed you. I am kind of weird by way. Anyways, why do guys think they can just honk their horn at you or whistle when they see you? That is my number one pet peeve do not honk your horn at me, whistle or whisper to me because I will give you the look :p. For instance, today I was at the train station waiting for the bus and this random cab driver honked his horn at me. That is not it when I did not respond he had the audacity to turn his car around. I mean what is wrong with these guys now a days? Well, this is the reason why my mom needs to hurry up and buy me a yellow 2012 mustang so I no longer have to take the bus. In my dreams right? Speaking of dreams time for me to go to sleep. Goodnight <3's

Before I was ugly

 It was the winter of 1966, in Horsham; London,  and Jonathon Langue boarded the freight train with his girlfriend Jenny going north to Oxford.  The train was unsettle yet easy on the tracks like the moonlight in the sky on a Paris evening under the eiffel tower. The rows were jam packed with heads of unfamiliar faces possibly because it was the last 8:00 a.m. train to Oxford, Jonathon thought. Jonathan loved to read the weekly comics in the newspaper and he usually made fun of the array of manipulated faces with his girlfriend Jenny. Jenny would always advise him to stop (elaborate). Jenny was twenty-one years old, two years younger than Jonathon and she had a passion for arguing over the most absurd topics. This may explain her desire to become a lawyer and earn her braggart rights after completing her last year at Oxford University. “I want to attend law school at Harvard University,” Jenny said with a tone of determination. “Oh, stick a sock in it Jenny,” Jonathan exclaimed. “You are such an over achiever,” he stated.  “And you are wonderfully obtuse Jonathan,” Jenny stated. “That is why I love you,” she added.
“What the hell is the meaning of obtuse?” Jonathan replied.  Jenny giggled at John’s ignorance with a sly grin. “Oh someone has been paying attention in English seminar,” Jenny stated with a thick British accent and slight dash of sarcasm.” “Whatever, our fat fuck professor is from India.” “What the hell does Professor Patel know about English?” Jonathan replied. “You are such a narrow minded imbecile,” Jenny responded.  “All you carry around is that foolish mirror, and you’re always looking at your reflection like you’re some sort of god,” Jenny said. “Maybe I am, John stated egotistically. “That is how I got you is it not, my love?” John stated with narcissism, while looking at his dingy mirror. “Ugh, Jenny said in disgust.”  “If you were not a handsome lad, I do not think I would be in this relationship, she stated.” “Really,” John asked with a concerned tone. “Really,” Jenny reiterated.  Jonathon and Jenny were dating for three years now, and Jenny was beginning to think deeply about their relationship. Jonathan had a tendency to tease  and belittle people who he considered to be ugly. Jenny was tired of John’s constant teasing and harassment towards others.

Lust for life

My definition of lust is a concrete rather than an abstract attraction to a certain figure or physical object. People these days confuse love and lust very frequently. If you are attracted to someone or something primarily for its physical features this is lust. If you're attracted to someone or something for its spiritual, emotional and abstract features I believe this is close to love. Personally I have a lust for life. The reason is I am attracted to the good things it brings from a materialistic aspect. Most people will not admit but that is the main reason why they are in college. People believe when they come to college they will receive a degree which would automatically get them a job when they graduate. Well this is what the media and society inform the public. Besides that point I want the best things out of life but I have to work hard for it. My dreams are huge so it is time to kick in the gear and do what I have to do to make them reality. I'm sometimes thinking to myself it's a great thing to dream but what happens after you make them reality and then you die? I mean some say your mark on life will never die. I was watching something about Steve Jobs yesterday in my communications class and he said something that will change my life forever. He said if you want to make a decision and you think to yourself if I was going to die today would I do this and the answer is no you know you're doing something wrong. From now on I will make every decision like it is my last.