I want to know how it feels
to be held so tight that he doesn't want to let go
to be cared for, adored and treasured.
theirs a lot of things about me that a lot
of people don't know
but my heart is swollen
so its hard for me to let my feelings show.
I poured my feelings in your cup
and you splashed yours in my face
tired of all the pain I have to take
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
God do you still love me
cuz I don't see the signs
the whisper in my conscious
always seems to cry
the fickle in my heart almost
seems to die
the emptiness in my brain always
wonders why
my best friend said i;m losing faith
but I'm making mistakes and I'm
scared of all the consequences that I have
to face all the risk that I have
to take and all the lies that I seem
to create just so its the truth I escape
you promised you love all your children
but my heart and feelings seemed to have been
killed and
I'm begging on my knees and I kneel and
God with all my thoughts do you feel them?
Do you hear me when I speak are you there
when the hot tears roll down my cheek
when the evils of the night enter in my sheets
and when the witchcraft disturbs me in my sleep
are you there for me? when the rufians follow and holla at
me at night and I grab on tightly to that knife hoping
that they will leave my sight are you there for me?
please don't get offended by my idiotic questions
I just want things to change for the better.
cuz I don't see the signs
the whisper in my conscious
always seems to cry
the fickle in my heart almost
seems to die
the emptiness in my brain always
wonders why
my best friend said i;m losing faith
but I'm making mistakes and I'm
scared of all the consequences that I have
to face all the risk that I have
to take and all the lies that I seem
to create just so its the truth I escape
you promised you love all your children
but my heart and feelings seemed to have been
killed and
I'm begging on my knees and I kneel and
God with all my thoughts do you feel them?
Do you hear me when I speak are you there
when the hot tears roll down my cheek
when the evils of the night enter in my sheets
and when the witchcraft disturbs me in my sleep
are you there for me? when the rufians follow and holla at
me at night and I grab on tightly to that knife hoping
that they will leave my sight are you there for me?
please don't get offended by my idiotic questions
I just want things to change for the better.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
passion and pain
love made you insane
no nintendo to play with all
those silly games
cooking pot roast
before he came from work
he a husband not a baby daddy
don't have to deal with
perks
1960s love love love
1960s love
got that real desire love is
climbing higher wearing hearts
all over your attire oooohhh
1960s love love love
1960s love
kisses on the check
tennis shoes as sneaks
going to the movies almost
every week
understands your morals
chivalry is alive
you don't have to have
sex just to keep your guy
I miss that 1960s love love love
1960s love
love made you insane
no nintendo to play with all
those silly games
cooking pot roast
before he came from work
he a husband not a baby daddy
don't have to deal with
perks
1960s love love love
1960s love
got that real desire love is
climbing higher wearing hearts
all over your attire oooohhh
1960s love love love
1960s love
kisses on the check
tennis shoes as sneaks
going to the movies almost
every week
understands your morals
chivalry is alive
you don't have to have
sex just to keep your guy
I miss that 1960s love love love
1960s love
I'm still alive
I've been called a geek
called a lame
called a nobody
and I'm Still Alive
I've been told to change
because I am not worthy
told I could never achieve my
goals
called an idiot
and I'm still Alive
I've been looked down upon
frowned upon
heart been stomped upon
dreams of being a queen
but told my head was not
powerful enough
to put a crown upon
and I'm Still Alive
life has been the most
painful ride
flying high crashing down
through it I still survive
still manage to hold my
pride
And I'm still alive
Forcing tears out of
my eyes to realease
the pain through black cries
and I'm Still Alive
Getting suspended
from school because
the bullies would not
stop and
my highschool authorities
did not help
so I took matters into my
own hands
And I'm Still Alive
Been told I was
loved
when it was all
a lie
Thoughts that I would die
and I'm Still Alive
called a lame
called a nobody
and I'm Still Alive
I've been told to change
because I am not worthy
told I could never achieve my
goals
called an idiot
and I'm still Alive
I've been looked down upon
frowned upon
heart been stomped upon
dreams of being a queen
but told my head was not
powerful enough
to put a crown upon
and I'm Still Alive
life has been the most
painful ride
flying high crashing down
through it I still survive
still manage to hold my
pride
And I'm still alive
Forcing tears out of
my eyes to realease
the pain through black cries
and I'm Still Alive
Getting suspended
from school because
the bullies would not
stop and
my highschool authorities
did not help
so I took matters into my
own hands
And I'm Still Alive
Been told I was
loved
when it was all
a lie
Thoughts that I would die
and I'm Still Alive
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Conversation with God
Me: God, can I ask You something?
God: Sure
Me: Promise You won't get upset?
...
God: I promise
Me: Why did You let so much stuff happen to me today?
God: What do u mean?
Me: I woke up late and I missed my bus this morning
God: Yes
Me: my ex doesn't pay me attention anymore
God: Okay
Me: I didn't even get time to study so I think I might fail and these random guys keep hitting on me in psych class and the one I want puts no effort
God: Huummm
Me: On the way home with Hanna all these gangster guys in philly stared at me like I was a happy meal
God: All right
Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home all my food was gone. So now I'm hungry and I have to cook again
God: Let me see, the death angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one
of My Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that.
Me (humbled): OH
GOD: I didn't let you catch the bus because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit the bus on the road
Me: (ashamed)
God: Your ex is a loser and I'm saving you for a winner who has faith in me and can be spiritually, mentally and physically empowered.
Me (embarrassed): ok
God: You did not make time to study and now this should make you work harder and I made sure to take time creating you so expect more stares some people never get noticed.
Me (softly): I see God
God: Oh and that food of yours someone put something bad in it and I made sure it was gone before you got home.
Me: I'm Sorry God
God: Don't be sorry, just learn to Trust Me.... in All things , the Good & the bad.
Me: I will trust You.
God: And don't doubt that My plan for your day is Always Better than your plan.
Me: I won't God. And let me just tell you God, Thank You for Everything today.
God: You're welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I Love looking after My Children...
REPOST if you Believe in HIM♥
God: Sure
Me: Promise You won't get upset?
...
God: I promise
Me: Why did You let so much stuff happen to me today?
God: What do u mean?
Me: I woke up late and I missed my bus this morning
God: Yes
Me: my ex doesn't pay me attention anymore
God: Okay
Me: I didn't even get time to study so I think I might fail and these random guys keep hitting on me in psych class and the one I want puts no effort
God: Huummm
Me: On the way home with Hanna all these gangster guys in philly stared at me like I was a happy meal
God: All right
Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home all my food was gone. So now I'm hungry and I have to cook again
God: Let me see, the death angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one
of My Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that.
Me (humbled): OH
GOD: I didn't let you catch the bus because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit the bus on the road
Me: (ashamed)
God: Your ex is a loser and I'm saving you for a winner who has faith in me and can be spiritually, mentally and physically empowered.
Me (embarrassed): ok
God: You did not make time to study and now this should make you work harder and I made sure to take time creating you so expect more stares some people never get noticed.
Me (softly): I see God
God: Oh and that food of yours someone put something bad in it and I made sure it was gone before you got home.
Me: I'm Sorry God
God: Don't be sorry, just learn to Trust Me.... in All things , the Good & the bad.
Me: I will trust You.
God: And don't doubt that My plan for your day is Always Better than your plan.
Me: I won't God. And let me just tell you God, Thank You for Everything today.
God: You're welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I Love looking after My Children...
REPOST if you Believe in HIM♥
why? answers I always wanted to know.
Yess, I love to ask questions, why? Yes, that is your boyfriend I said he was cute he said I was too. You mad? Why? Your hair is not done why? This blog is killing me why? I have to write grammatically correct just to prove I'm educated why? I have to read. study. learn. just to make a decent amount of money legally and earn a degree why? We all die why? We talk all the time on Facebook but in person you're a stranger why? You're reading this blog, why? The day I make it you're going to be all in my face like we use to be mad close why? Why did this girl ask me where I bought my shoes today? You do not have you're own style why? Why do you stare at me boy like everyday? Why do you think I'm rude when i'm just speaking the truth? Why does everything have to be perfect I am only human? You have tattoos so that means you're cool why? You don't understand me why? LOVE is o hard to find, why?You think you fly cause you can afford Gucci why? You said I was ugly but now you're asking for my number why? You stabbed me in the back and tried to hide the knife why? You go out of your way to get buzz instead of being yourself why? You automatically assume you're getting all these girls cause you have a car, why? You cut the middle of you're eyebrows why? You wear vans because of the pack song from 2006 why? You say Nicky Minaj can't rap but you blasting Romans Revenge in your car why? You hate me on a regular but love me when you need me why? You're fake, why? You think I'm pretty why? You think I'm ugly why? You underestimated my talent why? Hip hop is dead. why? I am doing this blog three times a week why? I am catching a cold, why? I have a test tomorrow, why? My butt hurts why? He said he will always be there but left, why? You're a liar why? Shorty always trying to fit in, why? You don't' believe in marriage why? You pierced your tongue why? If you're mad right now, why? It's eleven I have to wake up at seven and I'm still up why? Life is not fair why? Things never go as planned why? I am chaste and you don't understand, why? Your name is Abdul Malik Muhammad but you're not muslim why? You calling me a nobody but always trying to hold a convo with me why? You think I'm smart but I'm really retarded why?You think I'm different but I'm just like everybody else why? You said my song is dope but you didn't download it why? You call me sister but you're never there for me why? College is a lot of work and this is not the hard part why? You smile in my face but hate me why? You want to see me fail but I always prevail why? God loves me why? You don't why? You think this is pointless why? I told you the truth and you got mad why? You expect so much from me why? Bad things are easy to do, Good things are difficult to do why? You don't study and try to cheat of my test why? You're always asking me for my notes in class. You don't take your own WHY?
Friday, February 3, 2012
Dreams money couldn't buy.
I know where my mind at
and He thought he reached his
climax
Fool think he in love but
his heart in his manhood so I know
hell never find that
Many men think I'm sexist
but pussy is sacred so I know I gotta
protect it
most of em won't accept it
but the truth always been rejected so thats
already expected
I made a promise to myself today
to have the courage to speak on what cowards
afraid to say. I'm holding on to my intention
of doing this everyday
Most just sit and watch the violence
lately I've been feeling like a coward too cuz I
blended into the silence
I see the future in front of Earth with no prosperity
behind it.
A lot of underground rappers mad cuz
of short expectations, how you not speaking
from the heart and still expecting to make it?
Artists taking vacations, without reason for celebration
then came back to the game expecting her to remain
patient.
I'm really getting impatient, to the point of starting to fear it
society attention deficit and they don't
hear the meaning in my lyrics, pain made my eyes red and eye drops
couldn't clear it. The road black in front of me but my golden
heart couldn't fear it. I'm waiting for my appearance. I'm waiting for the shinging light.
Back in the day when I was spitting
guys said that it was aight. But the lies came out from fright, they was afraid
to come short by admitting I was better, I could see it in their height.
Sometimes with too much pride we lose the truth, and sometimes with too much
pressure to succeed we lose our conscious in the booth
I'm speaking this for you
How dare you attack the whores? When they crying out for love but no one
opens the door. and the more I speak about how they feel they want me to speak more
taking this route comes with sores, but id rather do it right and fly then do it wrong and fall down to the floor. some hate it when I speak and some just don't understand
I know what you don't and that is we come hand in hand
one day ill be living your life on the stands if it's a part of Gods plan.
and He thought he reached his
climax
Fool think he in love but
his heart in his manhood so I know
hell never find that
Many men think I'm sexist
but pussy is sacred so I know I gotta
protect it
most of em won't accept it
but the truth always been rejected so thats
already expected
I made a promise to myself today
to have the courage to speak on what cowards
afraid to say. I'm holding on to my intention
of doing this everyday
Most just sit and watch the violence
lately I've been feeling like a coward too cuz I
blended into the silence
I see the future in front of Earth with no prosperity
behind it.
A lot of underground rappers mad cuz
of short expectations, how you not speaking
from the heart and still expecting to make it?
Artists taking vacations, without reason for celebration
then came back to the game expecting her to remain
patient.
I'm really getting impatient, to the point of starting to fear it
society attention deficit and they don't
hear the meaning in my lyrics, pain made my eyes red and eye drops
couldn't clear it. The road black in front of me but my golden
heart couldn't fear it. I'm waiting for my appearance. I'm waiting for the shinging light.
Back in the day when I was spitting
guys said that it was aight. But the lies came out from fright, they was afraid
to come short by admitting I was better, I could see it in their height.
Sometimes with too much pride we lose the truth, and sometimes with too much
pressure to succeed we lose our conscious in the booth
I'm speaking this for you
How dare you attack the whores? When they crying out for love but no one
opens the door. and the more I speak about how they feel they want me to speak more
taking this route comes with sores, but id rather do it right and fly then do it wrong and fall down to the floor. some hate it when I speak and some just don't understand
I know what you don't and that is we come hand in hand
one day ill be living your life on the stands if it's a part of Gods plan.
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