Phobias

God is my greatest fear . There are certain things in life that scare me a lot as well. I try my best to behave as if I'm not afraid of anything but I am. One of the things in life that scares me the most is dying without making a mark on the world. I do not want to die without achieving at least one of my long term goals. The second thing that scares me the most is walking past a group of black guys alone. This may sound stereotypical but you never know if they will try to talk to you, or steal your purse. The third thing that scares me the most is when someone constantly stares at me like what are you thinking about while you're staring? Am I that interesting to look at? Omgosh I am so scared of confrontation or when someone says, "Can I ask you something?" This brings about the worst possible series of questions in my mind that I think the person is going to ask me. Like why don't you just ask the question? Why do you have to ask a question before the real question? I am so afraid of clowns like why are you so happy? No one is really that happy. I feel like when someone smiles too much they are going to do something mischievous. Something else that scares me is failure, I feel like if I fail I have nothing to live for. I feel like the world just stopped and I am the only one in it with this sh** feeling. Another thing that scares me is approaching a professor, they always look pissed off. Being in love is definitely a phobia of mine. I do not want to give someone my heart because that means you trust them enough to hurt it. I am afraid of heart break. I am afraid of letting someone down. People depend on us on a daily basis and I feel if I am not there for someone,  I betrayed them. I am afraid of gaining weight. As a female when your fat it is harder to deal with. People assume you have low self esteem because you're over weight and blah blah blah. Being fat seems hard to deal with. I remember one day my friends and I had a senior trip to dorney park. I had a fat friend who was told he could not get on the rides because he could not fit. That is so embarrassing I do not want to go through that. Another thing that scares me is dying. I do not want to be six feet under alone. That is so scary. Plus I know I am not perfect I have sinned a lot. I try my best to be a good person but yea I hope God forgives me for my sins. Car accidents scare the crap out of me. Over the summer I was in like three car accidents. I never want to experience that again. It is the worst feeling especially when it is your fault.