Well, my first year of college is over and now I have been reflecting on my growth, mistakes and things about me which have changed. My outlook on life has definitely changed from when I first entered college until now. I'm reading my old blogs and laughing because of the things I use to say my language has definitely changed and the way I look at certain things has definitely changed. I thought I was such a good person in the eyes of Allah before but I really wasn't and I'm still not perfect and I will never be perfect. Sometimes I shake my head at my past ways like using profanity in my language and being concerned with dating etc. Sometimes we think we are good because of the people we are surrounded with are doing so much worse. I have learned that the company you keep is very important. I will begin to surround myself with more ambitious people who have goals and dreams and actually put them into action. Also, I want to surround myself with spiritual people who are believers and are trying to strengthen their faith. I will begin insha Allah to be the absolute best person I can be in this life so that on the day of Al Qiyyamum my book will have more righteous deeds than bad sins by the Grace of God. I have to put my best foot forward. I did not do that well this semester academically which I expected because I did not put my best foot forward. I know that I am capable of accomplishing anything that I put my mind too and I am disappointed in myself. But I know I will make it through successfully by the Grace of God. My head is high and i'm ready to achieve my goals as long as God is by my side. I want to cover the reasons why im single in order to assess on the reasons why and by single I do not mean having a boyfriend. I mean engaged because it is known by muslims that dating is haram. God willing I want to get married by the time I graduate or I'm successful financially Insha Allah.
Reasons Why I'm Single
I'm too shy
I'm afraid to open my heart
I'm afraid of getting hurt
I think i'm not good enough at times
It's hard to come across a God fearing person
I do not trust easily
I'm insecure at times
I feel like no one will understand me
I think i'm boring
I may not be able to give the person my all
because Im too busy trying to figure myself out
I always expect my heart to get broken
and if not I usually get afraid when the real
thing comes along
and I don't know how to handle it
I feel like im detached at times like
love will make me a weak person
Thats about it.
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