Funny words of advice on Guys from my elders and random ppl lol

Never give a man your heart- Hanna's mom
Don't give any man attention
unless he will give you his eye lol- Uncle
All men think about is sex - Dad
If he tells you your pretty or beautiful tell
him I know so what ? lol- Mom
You know who you love but you don't
know who loves you- Grandma
Always have your guard up- Mom
When they talk make sure it goes in one
ear and out the other lol- Uncle Sam
Don't bring a broke guy to the house
Love don't pay the bills lol
True love is when you care about each other's
grades and family- Hanna's mom
Never settle for less- Co-worker
You have something going for yourself
and your pretty never settle
Save yourself and wait until marriage
If a guy likes you you will know you won't
have to play guessing games and go through
emotional breakdowns - Calvin
See how he behaves in stressful situations- unknown
Professor Bella: Do you have a boyfriend?
me: No
Professor Bella: Very good go after your dreams
and keep your eyes on the prize
Pray to Allah for a good husband - anonymous
All guys are the same we know we're the same
but girls just aren't allowed to say that lol- Tunde
Guys don't give gifts for free- Tunde
Don't take gifts from a dude - Calvin

60 fun weird facts and goals about me

1. I love to eat, i'm not picky with food
2. I love music but I want to stop listening to it-
3. I feel lost when I don't pray
4. I want to be a pharmacist/poet/author
5. I feel like i'm like the best poet loll
6. I pronounce my words weird
7. I understand like 4 languages
8. I speak 2
9. I want to learn how to speak Arabic
10. I think all guys are liars lol
11. I believe I can achieve anything
I put my mind too.
12. I really love myself lol
13. I don't care about a lot of things it
pisses people of
14. When I care it's really deep,
15. I love when people are worried about me
16. I love to be spoiled
17. I love sleep!
18. I can't stay up past 11:00 pm
19. I love my family and true friends
20. I don't trust people
21. I've been through a lot I feel like
nothing can bring me down
22. I was born to love i'm in love with
the idea of love
23. I actually want to be in love
24. I'm very sarcastic
25. I have to listen to Quran first thing
in the morning
26. I'm always late to something, I'm really
not punctual
27. I procrasinate with everything
28. I laugh at things that are not that funny
29. If you can't make me laugh you must have
really dry humor
30. I use to rap and had a dream of becoming
one of the best rappers out loll
31. I want to change someone's life for the better
32. I'm not the same person everyday I change a lot
33. I love to learn new things from people, experiences
and my environment
34. I don't take life too seriously
35. I believe I'm beautiful some people
think I'm ugly and some people think
I'm prettier than I think I am
36. I care what people think
37. Very emotional
38. Very sensitive
39. I use to be a ballet dancer when I was six
40. If you think i'm quiet you don't know me at all lol
42. I'm smarter than a lot of people think
43. I know how to make people think that
really special
44. I'm so nice some guys think I like them or something
I'm just like that with everyone
45. I feel like I have ambition
46. I'm lazy lol
47. I'm the only girl out of 3 brothers
48. I can't get along with a lot of females
49. I have really bad side that I try to keep
away from people
50. I can break down character and analyze your
objective in life
51. I dream everything before it happens
52. The only man I will ever love is my future
husband I pray on it
53. I pray on everything
54. I know God's plan is the best
55. I love track even though I don't run anymore
56. I'm spontaneous
57. I want to die a believer
58. I don't party, drink or smoke it bothers me
when people do or try to get me to do it
59. I want a car
60. I love to inspire

cancer thoughts

cancers hate nosy people ...in the back of our minds we always wonder if were good enough we love to be home with family...we're very family oriented...we usually dont text back fast or text first because we want to feel missed and loved we always put people before ourselves. People take our kindness for weakness but our bad side is the worst once you're on our bad side there is no coming out of it.

fantasy

I need a hug right now. I am really a cuddly person but I never show this side of me because I never met anyone who deserved it. Not only that but the one time I showed my emotional side it was like I got left in the desert with an empty water bottle. I never met anyone who was valuable enough to give my heart too.  My uncle once told me never give your attention or look at a man unless they're willing to give you their eye lol. I believe he is so African for that haha. But in a way I agree if someone is not willing to put you first and you settle for them you can't be mad when you're always last. Also, if someone is not willing to sacrifice for you then you shouldn't sacrifice your mind, soul, body and spirit for them as a woman. This is my perception and take on it. You ever wanted to be in love so bad but you're approached by all the wrong people and the right person is not interested in you? Not only that but you're not allowed to date and you're a virgin waiting until marriage. My patience is wearing thin don't judge me though lol. It's crazy how I get attention from everyone I don't want and minimal attention from the one I want. I mean I was never told how much im cared for by the one I care for. However, if I think about it I never told the one I care for that they're cared for. I feel like a sucka for love right now or infatuation because I don't even know what love is. But I know when I get it.... it will be right...... it will be patient, it will be calm, it will be peaceful, it will spiritual, mental and physical. It will be true. huh...if I only I could be in love with you.

Morals

what are your morals and your
principles?
we might die tomorrow
but all think we invincible
we buried in the sorrow
so we scurry from the horrow
there's no profit in the sin
so we worry when we borrow

Ramadan Mubarak

This ramadan seems so special to me and so enticing. I'm ready to expand and grow closer to God. I also want Allah to prevent me from being a hypocrite, help me to develop sabr which is half of Eman and also learn from my mistakes. I have already taken measures that I have never taken before.

things that would make me fall in love

kisses on the forhead ..making me feel warm and safe..giving me butterflies when im around you..making me feel good inside..when my heart skips beats...taking me out randomly in the night to nyc to ride on a horse carriage or something..staying up all night with me watching the stars...heart beating at the same time mine beats..random kisses on the cheek because were friends too..making me comfortable enough to tell you anything without judging me..random massages...giving me time alone to think for myslef..not smothering me but not being too detached..not being able to go a day without thinking of me..making effort to make me happy with you...random long text messages about how he feels about me...real sentimental feelings..randomly picking me up from the back...him being protective over me...holding me when ever I feel down...actually being there...making me feel secure with the relationship..holding me tight ...having a little fear of me leaving which sows you care...telling me you miss me when im not there and how much you hate it when youre apart from me..listening to me when i speak...taking my advice into consideration...being a leader...smiling when you see me...buying me random gifts when i didnt even ask..making me priority....treating me different from the way you treat every other girl...caring about my feelings and my thoughts..showing that youll always be there when I need you...loving my cooking..smelling good..letting me wear your smell good sweaters..playing in my head...looking me dead in my eyes when you say I love you and mean it..being bold confident and taking risk...knowing how to take a joke..being funy.being confident but shy around me sometimes ...believing in God and everything he says including what he says about relationships. respecting my morals and truly undersstanding not just saying you understaand. having conversations with me and months and years later still remembering them and being able to spit back the information I told you about myself shows you listen and care. making an effort to draw me closer me closer to you showijg concern. respecting my decisions ..supporting my ambitions have a strong ambition. keeping your word and promises smelling good all the tikme i know I said that already but its important. Gwanting the best for me like you want the best for you..making me feel wanted..thinking as 1 not thinking just about you..trusting me with everything..being honest even if the truth will hurt me..putting God first before me...giving good advice..pushing me to better myself...making spontaneous gestures...trying different things..Loving your mother..being cautious of using profanity around me..giving me a cute nickname....smiling at me for no reason..being with me because you want to be not because you feel like you need to be...being genorous and not stingy..being intelligent ...telling me im beautiful or pretty once in a while ..including me in your plans...letting me know whos bos without having to yell or be abusive bout it..having courage...telling me how I much I mean to you..loving me uncondtionally

Girls you don't have too

Girls you don't have to
send him those freaky
pictures with poked out lips
so he can put you in
the picture
because soon after you took of your
shirt he dismissed ya
told his friends he never kissed you
and now you crying cause' he dissed ya
stop offering your body and start
offering your mind
Girls you don't have too but you do
it all the time
Is like we need a man to feel loved
a man to feel good
a man to tell us how to live like we
really should
Girl you don't have too
go back when he smacks you
but you still lack all the facts

Be who You Are

Find out what you're personal interest are. What makes you happy and what do you love to do? This is something that you should make an activity or hobby in your life. For instance, don't try out for the basketball team because your crush likes basketball players. If you try out for the basketball team just for your crush and you get cut you'll look like a loser. If your crush even notices that you try'd out and if you make it and you suck or you're simply mediocre you still don't stand out and that will not get the attention of the one you like. Or don't become a cheerleader for the football team because the person you like is on the football team. If you treat people like celebrities they will treat you like a fan. Your crush will not even care about nonetheless, pay you any attention. Also, you will lose out on the essence of who you are and what you were born to do. When you try to be someone else's perfect most of the time they don't even notice or appreciate it so you might as well do what you want to do. Most of all you want to be more happy in the end. It's like we go through all these different struggles just to impress people and they don't even notice or care. This is when you fall into feeling down about yourself because you're so busy worried about everyone else and what they think about you instead of yourself.  Most of the time you end up embarrassing yourself when you try to be someone that you are not. No one should feel ashamed if they are behaving this way or they tried to be someone who they're not to get attention or feel better about themselves. There is room for change and acceptance of ones inner self.
This is a process which does not work over night but takes time and practice. My freshman year of high school had the most embarrassing, confusing and funny moments of my life. These moments were so funny and embarrassing but they all made me stronger.

Why are you a Geek in Highschool?

You're a geek because you try too damn hard to fit in and you constantly perceive yourself as a geek.  You care too much about what people think about you and take irrelevant comments to the heart. You're always trying to be somebody you're not or get noticed, just focus on who you are and your dreams stop trying to be someone else's idea of popular or cool. As cliche' as it sounds it's the truth. People perceive you how you perceive yourself and if you see yourself as an outcast, wierdo or geek other people will see you that way. Just be yourself don't try to curse out the teacher because that's what you think the cool kids do. OR don't fight just because you want to prove your tough because if you get beat up you'll just be a bigger geek than you were before. Don't lie about the amount of girls you've had sex with just so no one makes fun of you and you can get people to think you're cool because it psychologically F's you up you go home knowing that you're a liar and a lame. Also, you can lose out on a good person who actually cares about you because you constantly lie about who you are and you attract the wrong people. Ever wonder why you can never find the right person? Sometimes it's because you're not being yourself and the person you're attracting is not compatible with the inner you instead the person you're attracting is interested in the persona that you made up which is fake. So the relationship is always short lived because sooner or later they find out you're not who you say you are. Also, if people find out you're lying you'll just look stupid and no one will respect you. Whilst on the other hand if you keep it real and say you know what I never had sex before i'm a virgin you might find a friend who will appreciate that. Instead of having to lie about who you are to get  friends because if you have to lie to someone to get them to be your friend they're not really your friend. It's that simple. Highschool is like this 4 years of bs curriculum which really doesn't benefit you in the future or prepare you for college. Excluding the fact that you need to do well in order to get accepted into a good university or be somebody in the future. There are different types of geeks however. I know this because I was a geek in high school lol. There's the type of geek that nobody likes at all. For instance the jocks pick on this person just because the person is weak and never stands up for themself. This geek may not be that smart he/she just gets picked on all the time because he's either annoying or easy to make fun of. There's the geek who doesn't know he/she is a geek. This type of geek persistently dick rides the popular people and always tries to be around them. This geek is popular though but still a geek in the mental because the person is not being who they really are or following their actual dreams and aspirations their following other people and not accepting the fact that they can't be other people. This person constantly does what he/she thinks is cool just because others are doing it. You ever realize the biggest geeks get tattoos? It's a compensation for being a corn ball. They're trying to cover up the fact that no one cares about them and they feel like if they follow a trend it will make them seem cooler or more important.  In fact their friends secretly do not respect them and talk behind their back they will never be cool because they are not being true to themselves they always lose. Then there's the smart geek who everyone hates because they're so damn smart and people wish they could be as smart as this geek. This geek always raises their hand in class to answer a question and this person is always the only one who knows the answer. This geek usually gets no love in high school but right after goes to an IVY league college after graduating as valedictorian and becomes the CEO of a fortune 500 company....to be continued

I just want the real thing

I just want the real thing. but I believe my needs may be way too much or my over obsession or over emotional ways may turn potentials away in the future.

Failure

I hate failure so much. It really bothers the crap out of me I always try to put up a fake smile and act like I can get through but it really affects me. I just feel like people will think I lost faith or they want a reaction which secretly will make them feel happy. For instance I feel like when I fail and I show that i'm affected by it it satisfies people. I don't want to satisfy anyone so I behave like I don't care but I really do. In fact, I've been experiencing a lot of failure these days and I don't know how to handle it and idk who to talk too. I hate telling my friends because I don't trust anyone with things like that. I just want to be successful in the long run. These days have been hard. This is really a test I hope I can pass. I know God is trying to make me stronger but I just want to achieve. I'm tired of stagnant progression. I always get a taste of success and then it's like a sike na. I'm tired of that it really hurts me inside. The more I try to go deeper in the seen the more obstacles I have to face. IDK if im strong enough to handle all of this. It's like my life was way better and smoother when I wasn't so much in the deen and I know its Shaytaan's way of trying to get you to lose your faith. I'm still holding on but I do get afraid and sad it's the truth. I'm only human and my mom constantly calls me weak because of that honestly it pisses me off. Like I'm suppose to fail and come out with a bright smile afterwards how is that realistic? I get scared that my dreams and goals will not be accomplished. As positive as I remain these days I have not been receiving positive results. Too many bumps on the road. I just want to be rich and have money. I mean yeah my parents always provide but i'm tired of depending on them I want MY OWN MONEY.  I don't want to be unappreciative to Allah and I try to be as grateful as possible but I just want to move up in life. I'm sick of being in the same spot or having to get a little taste of success and it goes away the next second this always happens too me. Like today I had an interview with TD bank and it was already hard enough to get an interview. So i'm like yeah ill put my best foot forward because I wasn't only doing it for the money I actually would like to work there. I always wanted to work there. But yeah I went through this long process and still didn't get the job and I had a feeling I wouldn't. It's always half way success with me I get the interview but not the job. OR I get the job but no hours. IT's like I can never win and it's really bothering me. I just want to be successful is that too much to ask for? and I hate when people tell me don't worry about it because they're not in my situation and they do not know what it feels like to almost get something ALL THE TIME. I always ALMOST MAKE IT. I ALWAYS GET A TASTE but never the real thing. And that's in everything, love, happiness and success. I just want it all. I'm trying to remain positive but this is rally bringing me down like will I ever make it? I'm tired of dreaming I just want my goals to be reality. Like I hate when I pour my heart and soul out into something and then I get no results. I constantly put my heart and soul into everything that I do and then I still get nothing. Maybe I'm not looking at the brighter side of things but it's hard to when i've been in the rain so long. I mean yeah I know there are people worse off than me but that doesn't make me feel better about my situation. Like I really want to make it I believe one of my greatest fear is failure. Yes my main goal is Janna but I want to succeed on this life as well I want my cake and I want too eat it too. But I guess life doesn't work like that. I guess I also have to work harder and realize my mistakes. I haven't experienced success in a while. I'm tired of half way, maybe's and sorta kind's. I just want the real thing.

Don't accept things that you don't believe in merely because everyone else does.

I realized that sometimes I accept something only because I don't want to be looked at as asking for too much or demanding to much respect. Therefore, I comply with society standards to make things easier for other people. However, certain things seem to eat at my skin Idl if I wear my heart on my sleeve or what but it seems to me that males and females have lost respect for one another.

thoughts

the mind is the heart
the heart is the soul
there's is an absence of logic
when our emotion
is not whole
we feel lost
we feel dumb
we feel old
we feel young
we feel lost hope
because the happiness
never comes
the feeling is in the air
the healing is never there
breeze blowing through the air

Pros and Cons Personality traits from my perspective

Pros                                                            Cons

Loyal                                                          Lazy
Honest for the                                             Insecure          
most part                                                     Impatient
Smart                                                          Hot head which has cooled down
Creative                                                      Dogmatic
Funny at times                                            Argumentative
Ambitious                                                   Defensive
Spontaneous                                               Oblivious
Free                                                             Sensitive
Open minded                                               Clingy
Tolerant                                                       Spoiled
Understanding                                             Quiet
Straight Forward                                          Boring at times
Confident                                                    
Goofy
Serious
Mature
Outgoing
Empathetic
Caring
Hopeful
Optimistic
Humble most of
the time
Spiritual
Religious
Family Lover
Conscientious
Helpful
Calm

Poem dedicated to my twin

This poem is dedicated to my twin who is going through some things it's not completed but its just how I felt and depict her emotions.

walk a mile in my shoes
and you will begin to feel the
blues
not blue as in the color
but blue as in the cruels
the cruelty of life
one step in my shoes
and you take a step
back twice
your heart will be sliced
walk a mile in myshoes
and you will have to pay
a price
walk a mile in my shoes
pay with pain and recieve
no profit
the change is inevitable
the hurt is non stop
the clerk is jerk
flirt in my shoes and get shot
watch one mile
equals one day in hell
feet filled with blisters
trapped in a
jail
tripping over yourself
get back so confused in
the trail

My Dream Last Night

These days I've been having the weirdest dreams like everything that is going to happen to me comes in a dream.  I am so happy but its scary at the same because sometimes I don't want to face reality. I had a dream that a good friend of mine was falling in love with some guy and e really convinced her that he was the one. Then when I was with her something told me that he was just a sweet talker and he really could care less about. Sometimes it boggles my mind how guys can careless about a female and only want to fornicate with her. This bothers me a lot and men wonder why women hate men. Anyways, I have no idea what that portion of my dream meant. Then later in my dream my father was flirting with some lady right in front of my mother and when the lady left he tried to coerce my mother and she wasn't buying it. Then a Jewish priest was praying in Jesus name and his prayer was not answered so he decided to call on Allah swt. That dream was so weird.

Reasons why I'm single and my thoughts about myself from first semester to second

Well, my first year of college is over and now I have been reflecting on my growth, mistakes and things about me which have changed. My outlook on life has definitely changed from when I first entered college until now. I'm reading my old blogs and laughing because of the things I use to say my language has definitely changed and the way I look at certain things has definitely changed. I thought I was such a good person in the eyes of Allah before but I really wasn't and I'm still not perfect and I will never be perfect. Sometimes I shake my head at my past ways like using profanity in my language and being concerned with dating etc. Sometimes we think we are good because of the people we are surrounded with are doing so much worse. I have learned that the company you keep is very important. I will begin to surround myself with more ambitious people who have goals and dreams and actually put them into action. Also, I want to surround myself with spiritual people who are believers and are trying to strengthen their faith. I will begin insha Allah to be the absolute best person I can be in this life so that on the day of Al Qiyyamum my book will have more righteous deeds than bad sins by the Grace of God. I have to put my best foot forward. I  did not do that well this semester academically which I expected because I did not put my best foot forward. I know that I am capable of accomplishing anything that I put my mind too and I am disappointed in myself. But I know I will make it through successfully by the Grace of God. My head is high and i'm ready to achieve my goals as long as God is by my side. I want to cover the reasons why im single in order to assess on the reasons why and by single I do not mean having a boyfriend. I mean engaged because it is known by muslims that dating is haram. God willing I want to get married by the time I graduate or I'm successful financially Insha Allah.

Reasons Why I'm Single

I'm too shy
I'm afraid to open my heart
I'm afraid of getting hurt
I think i'm not good enough at times
It's hard to come across a God fearing person
I do not trust easily
I'm insecure at times
I feel like no one will understand me
I think i'm boring
I may not be able to give the person my all
because Im too busy trying to figure myself out
I always expect my heart to get broken
and if not I usually get afraid when the real
thing comes along
and  I don't know how to handle it
I feel like im detached at times like
love will make me a weak person
Thats about it.

My Closet

middle school yearbook
African lace
Diary
Shoess
Lost style
Spontaneity
Scrap Book
Library

cuts and bruises

Day one
im almost done
my flesh has
become numb
and if I beg for help
no one will ever come
my feelings have been
released
the hurt is now deceased
and my pain has been
decreased
my sane I can keep
I mean the more I go deep
the more I lose heat
I cut in the bathroom sink
and let the blood leak through
my sheets
I can escape from the world
I can escape from these streets
Day two
its so true
the things you can do
that the deeper you cut
the better it feels
the feeling is too real
the pain that it heals
My hope has been killed
This life I can no longer
deal
I cut and I cut to be
devoured as a meal
I cut really fast
but the world stands still
im eating my inside
to escape from my out
I scream and I shout
but no one cares what
its about
my mothers upstairs
and no one ever listens
brother sells drugs
dad smokes in the kitchen
Day three
im so free
but this is not who I want
to be
Why can't they see? Why
can't anybody hear me?
Today I may have cut just a little
too deep, cut right through
my red ink
 my right hand is bleeding blood
on the sink
I can no longer think
my heart is skipping beats
racing in my shirt
the pain is in my veins
but the pain doesn't hurt
I almost pissed through my skirt
dad is yelling my name from downstairs
to come give him a match
I feel an itch in my heart
an itch I can't scratch
dad's knocking on the
door and my vision went black
my vision never came back
now that im gone and feelings
have been screwed in
I hope they can hear my cries
through my cuts and bruises

im not bitter

im not bitter
im just cold
cuz my heart has been
told
all these lies
that unfold
and the truth love never
holds
the tears always seem to control
my happiness was ripped and stoled
my feelings you have thrown
you littered the earth with my
heart and soul
im not bitter
im just cold
my love was once
gold
the sky above was once
old
you made it
black
now I cant get it back
im under an attack
lost in my heart and I cant
find a map
man I cant get on track
im running and im
running but
I feel young and dumb
I feel like a bumb
on sunny days your always there
but you leave soon as the rain comes

http://voices.yahoo.com/the-differences-between-kant-aristotle-3632521.html?cat=38

im breaking out of the pain
im breaking out of the rain
im breaking out of the dirt
and im breaking out the shame

thoughts of suicide

im not an entertainer
more like a mediator
am I just another artist?
I see the world starving does that makes me
another target, courage
like Rosa Parks,
illuminating the dark
the freedom fight isn't over
we can april till we March
obesity disease over abundance
of starch
the problem is we  greedy
imitating what we see on tv
they say they hate me but they need me
when my stomach was growling no one
was there to feed me

freewrite

the world crying she upset,
and I learned that she kept,
from her roots to her  neck all the lies
and regrets
evil spirits
in my chest,
In the Qu'ran I invest
slaughter evil let it bleed
seeping slowly through my vest
ima rip em like the best,
lion embezzled in stress
& to those who say im quiet
they say silence is a threat
they say honesty is death
 I aint seen
and they violencing upset
they subconsciously in debt
they can't spiritually connect
they can't possibly accept
that the good die  young
filled with ounces of regret
filled with lounges of attempts
 humans begging for respect
rappers begging for a check
they not giving they just get
stop diminishing the truth,
start replenishing the youth
free paths.... long last thats
the killing that I do
 false identities
obtained
rapping cause of the
of fame
everyone looking the same
cuz of you ignorant lames
hit me and ill hit you back
with my movement I attack
civil rights minus the act
Malcolm x on the track
its a war with the feds
its a war in the beds
when a nigga talk slick
they put the sword in
the head.
people asking where they
at thats why its more
of em dead
and they rather keep killing
without stopping it instead
what kind of morals have we
lead, giving plates
with no bread, hate with no ed,
can't escape with no ends









letters to the dead in gold, to
the heavens sent and sold
the wise they die old, the young they
die cold
lies shivering in shame
cries leaking in the
who you know with more hunger
who you know with more struck
thunder
virgin to the world
mc prostitute to the game
I'm in the the midst of the rain
f all the hunger and pain
ignorance is pain
educational deceased
when
my rhymes salivating
no one can see me
its my eyes they debating
they lying and they hating
they crying and relating
my accent gotta twist
so they crying im jamaican

sunset

times like this I get lost in the sunset
the horizon captures my hope
the clouds comfort my heart
sunrise to sunset my dreams
get brighter and dim
sunrise and sunset
a day full of sin
a night full of jinn
but im still chasing to
win running
from the fears
shedding away the tears
in order to be born again
into a stronger and wiser
human being
the golden aspect of life
is the regrets which we
don't make
the risk that we take
the smiles that we fake
which seem to deceptively
chase our sadness
away
I see the devil in the creek
 and the Angel protecting me
God is on top of all
watching his children
until we meet him again
the sun is our
the set is young
the mind is dumb
when we do not believe
we do not achieve
how could we deceive
our hearts from the start
now we march
to the set
sunrise to sunset
sunrise to sunset

No one hears me

my voice is in a bottle
filled with happiness
and pain
the pain of the neglect
the happiness for keeping my
sane
no one hears my cry no one
cares about why
sometimes I think no one will care
if I died
when I talk no one is cares to listen
the spirituality is there but the emotional
support is always missing
im always there to listen to them but no one
listens to me
escaping the world of neglect in order
to set my soul free
im more of a loner tempted to become
a stoner
guys don't want a bond
they just want that quick boner
looking in the mirror hoping
to see myself clearly
tell that voice in my head to quit speaking
no one hears me

in the grave

He woke up one 

day and he was six

feet deep butt naked 

in front of the creator 

and his lips couldn't speak

felt at pain with his life

but his tears wouldn't leak

his eyes couldn't blink

and his mind couldn't think 

in the grave he's a slave to 

the evil he withholds

he should his soul for gold 

and he didn't listen to what he 

was told

he felt the wise were fools and 

the fools are the wise 

now he'll never get a chance 

to lay his eyes on the prize 

they say you only live once

but when you die you pay the price

for doing whats wrong and 

avoiding whats right 

having sex before marriage 

teen pregnancy is on the average

im sick of seeing lost souls

in the baby carriage 

Ignorance disease

she loved him
and gave him her virginity
because she didn't know
lost in love, she didn't know he cheated
on her though
her heart dies slow
because she didn't know
ignorance is a disease
it slithers into your roots and
then it sucks out your seeds
it suffocates your intellect
until you can no longer
breathe
eating without feeding
seeing without seeing
sinning without knowing
we sinning for no reason
imagine dying and on Judgement
day you say I didnt worship
God because I didn't know.
well if you didn't know now know and
you gotta go
dying real slow
crying we real poo'
I mean the poor seen
broke
and the feins seen coke
The pain is inhaled
and exhaled through weed smoke
look at these dirty inner-city streets
and these clean suburban areas
they keep calling the feds for help
but the feds are fed up with us
name the last mouth you fed
the last tear you shed, the last
blood you've bled
and the last good thing you said ?
instead of feeding our minds
we'd rather die with ignorance instead
acting like we're living life to the fullest
but we're laying on our beds
killing our brain cells cuz of the lack of
positive thought processes through our heads
we are ignorant to change quick to
point the finger and blame
content with stagnant progression so
were in ignorance with pain ...
we don't accept change so
the ignorance won't leave
dying without owning up to our Sins
thats the ignorance disease

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zA0G13ZiM8E&feature=related

57 girl confessions

57 Girl Confessions

1. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?
- depends on the guy

2. A big poofy dress or a short party dress?
- A big poofy strapless florescent

3. What would you do if you received a long love letter?
- laugh and then say how sweet it is

4. Group dates or single dates?
- group

5. Do you hate it when guys act different around their friends?
- Yes...shows their immaturity and lack of confidence

6. Are diamonds a girl’s best friend?
- Nope chocolate and ice cream

7. Is your hair up or down today?
- upp lol

8. Do you straighten your hair?
- sometimes

9. Favorite mascara?
- don't wear it

10. Do you get your nails done?
- occasionally

11. Small or large purses?
- Large lol

12. In your purse, what are your must haves?
- Phone, keys, comb, blistex, calculator, books, check book and wallet.

13. Jeans or sweats?
- Jeans

14. Do you wear clothes/shoes/jewelry that’s uncomfortable?
- if I feel like getting fancy lol

15. Do you text message a lot?
- yesss

16. What would you do if you got pregnant?
- cry and scream at the baby dad for doing

that to me haha

17. What’s your favorite color?
- black, gray, yellow and brown

18. Heels or flats?
-flats heels hurt

19. Did you ever cry during a romantic movie?
- idk im not that emotional lol

20. Would you ever leave the house without make-up on?
- I don't wear make-up most ever is eyeliner and blistex

21. Walmart or Target?
- Walmart has everything

22. Do you wear collared shirts?
- I use to, cardigans more so now

23. Do you like preppy boys?
- Yes I love it. That gives of the gentlemen

vibe

24. Do you think lip gloss is the best!?
- nooo especially not the sticky $1 kind

lipstick and blister is better

25. Do you own any big sunglasses?
- They got stolen soo no.

26. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
- about an hour and a half im such a procasinater

27. Do you like to wear band-aids?
- nope, thats wack

28. Do you like skater boys?
- not really

29. Do you often wish there was something you could change?
- definitely change for the better is good

30. Gold or silver?
- I like them both

31. Do you like to receive flowers?
- yess lol, its the thought that counts

32. Do you like surfer boys?
- nopee

33. Do you dress up for the holidays?
- definitely

34. Do you like to wear dresses?
- not at all my butt's too big lol

35. On a scale of 1-10 how much do guys confuse you?
- 6, when I over think it, 0 when I don't

36. In the last 48 hours have you hung out with a guy?
- yess 80% of friends are guys

37. Would you date a guy shorter than you?
- Nope sorry, I'm already a midget

38. Do you like to hold hands?
- no im afraid my hands are 

bigger than his lol

39. What is the youngest you would date?
- 18

40. What is the oldest you would date?
- 23

41. What do you notice when you first meet a guy?
- His charisma and shoes

42. Is it hot when guys sweat?
- ewww no unless I like you

that much

43. What is the best feature in a guy?
- patience and intelligence

44. Do you like making eye contact?
- no it makes me nervous haha

46. Would you kill for chocolate?
- nah I would kill for caparison or juice lol

47. Did you ever spend all day/night getting pretty for a guy?
- nah beauty comes natural

48. On a scale from 1-10 how fun is shopping?
- 12 lol

49. Do you freak out if you miss your favorite show?
- Yes. what would you do and basketball wives

50. Do you yell a lot?
- nope im calm and collected

51. Do you wear sweatpants/pajamas to school/work?
- nope not professional

52. Have you ever dressed unlike yourself to impress a guy?
- nah but I've enhanced my style before

53. Do you write a lot of mushy love poems?
- yess but not mushy more reality poems

54. What makeup could you not live w/ out?
- eyeliner!

55. Do you fall in love easily?
- never been in love so no 

I fall in like easily

56. Do you have cramps?
- yess hate those

57. Do you think you have the bestest friend ever?
- definitely she's a character 

thoughts of suicide

These thoughts of suicide
will kill your heart
Just wait for your time


wait for your time to die
you might find that offense
but if I promised you you'll never
go you might find that pretentious
listen to the lyrics, you might just learn a
lesson
I'm like yo hip hop is that my heart that
you undressing
not a perfect human being I'm sticking
to the deen holding to faith
and believing in the unseen
cuz without the hope then a dream is just a dream
and without cope what it seems is what it is seems
struggles make it feel like theirs no way out
the devil tries to make it seem like life is a flooded
droute
and the only way-out is if you take yourself out
God gave you life so let him take you out

Sick

im not only suffering emotionally
I'm suffering mentally
cuz I keep on thinking about what
this shit could of meant for me
im sick of being someone else
im not who I pretend be
The more I become who I really
am
the more I lose more friends of me

Survey

Rule #1
If you open this you take it.
Rule #2:
You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages you and asks.
Rule #3:
Tag ten people.

Answer True or False

Q: Kissed someone on your friends list? nope
Q: Been arrested? nah
Q: Do you like someone? kinda
Q: Held a snake? nope don't plan on it lol
Q: Been suspended from school? pshhh lol yea
Q: Sang karaoke? idk feel like I did
Q: Done something you told yourself you wouldn't do? all the time
Q: Laughed until you started crying? haha yes best medicine
Q: Caught a snowflake on your tongue? yea love that.
Q: Kissed in the rain? nope
Q: Sang in the shower? all the time
Q: Sat on a roof top? I want too but no.
Q: Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? nope we going in together lol
Q: Broken a bone? probably lol
Q: Shaved your head? almost lol
Q: Played a prank on someone? yupp
Q: Shot a gun? false
Q: Donated Blood? yea :)


LAST PERSON.

1. You hung out with? donzel
2. You texted? Shade
3. You were in a car with? Shade
4. Went to the movies with? Shade, Virgil, Aisha and some boy idk his name
5. Person you went to shop with? Hanna bighead lol
6. You talked on the phone? Calvin
7. Made you laugh? I can't remember
8. You hugged? Jaquis


1. Sun or moon? Sun
2. Winter or Fall? Winter
3. Left or Right? Right
4. Sunny or rainy? I love the rain
5. Where do you live? Philly
6. Club or pub? Pub
7. Are there 1 or 2 people who you can always trust and rely on? YUpp
8. Do you want to get married? Yes
9. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? Both
10. What time is it? 7:49 am
11. Are you afraid of commitment? yea =/
12. What are your greatest hopes/wishes? to live free, go to heaven, be protected from evil, get married to a good man, be in love, start my own recording company, have my poems copyrighted, come out with a clothing line and write books most of all  be successful.
13. Do you cook? Yess, even tho I hate it lol
14. Current mood? calm and at peace

IN THE LAST 48 HOURS HAVE YOU...

1. Kissed someone? no
2. Sang? yes
3. Listened to music? yes
4. Danced Crazy? no lol
5. Cried? yeah
6. Liked someone you can't? watever that means lol ohh 

wait yesss

22 FIRSTS .....

1.Who was your first prom date? Musa
2. Who was your first roommate? Leila
3. What alcoholic beverage did you drink when you got drunk the first time? idk lol
4. What was your first job? CNA/HHA
5. What was your first car? my bike lol
6. When did you go to your first funeral and viewing?Esosa's in 2005 12 yrs old
8. Who was your first grade teacher? mrs. Emilia
9. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane? Ghana
10. When you sneaked out of your house for the first time, who was it with? Turquoise lol
11. Who was your first Best Friend? Francine miss that girl
12. Who is your best friend? Rida, Shade and Hanna
13. Where was your first sleepover? cousins house
14. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day? umm Calvin prob.
15. Who's wedding were you in the first time you were a Bridesmaid or groomsman? my cuzzo's wedding christmas break
16. What's the first thing you did when you got up this morning? wrote a poem about the dream I just had
17. What was the first concert you went to?never been
18. What was the last concert you went to? never been
19. First tattoo or piercing? ears peirced when i was a couple months old
20. First celebrity crush? Omarion haha
22. First crush? Esasou lol don't know if I spelled his name right

I want to know how it feels
to be held so tight that he doesn't want to let go
to be cared for, adored and treasured.
theirs a lot of things about me that a lot
of people don't know
but my heart is swollen
so its hard for me to let my feelings show.
I poured my feelings in your cup
and you splashed yours in my face
tired of all the pain I have to take

God do you still love me
cuz I don't see the signs
the whisper in my conscious
always seems to cry
the fickle in my heart almost
seems to die
the emptiness in my brain always
wonders why
my best friend said i;m losing faith
but I'm making mistakes and I'm
scared of all the consequences that I have
to face all the risk that I have
to take and all the lies that I seem
to create just so its the truth I escape
you promised you love all your children
but my heart and feelings seemed to have been
killed and
I'm begging on my knees and I kneel and
God with all my thoughts do you feel them?
Do you hear me when I speak are you there
when the hot tears roll down my cheek
when the evils of the night enter in my sheets
and when the witchcraft disturbs me in my sleep
are you there for me? when the rufians follow and holla at
me at night and I grab on tightly to that knife hoping
that they will leave my sight are you there for me?
please don't get offended by my idiotic questions
I just want things to change for the better.

passion and pain
love made you insane
no nintendo to play with all
those silly games
cooking pot roast
before he came from work
he a husband not a baby daddy
don't have to deal with
perks
1960s love love love
1960s love
got that real desire love is
climbing higher wearing hearts
all over your attire oooohhh
1960s love love love
1960s love
kisses on the check
tennis shoes as sneaks
going to the movies almost
every week
understands your morals
chivalry is alive
you don't have to have
sex just to keep your guy
I miss that 1960s love love love
1960s love

I'm still alive

I've been called a geek
called a lame
called a nobody
and I'm Still Alive
I've been told to change
because I am not worthy
told I could never achieve my
goals
called an idiot
and I'm still Alive
I've been looked down upon
frowned upon
heart been stomped upon
dreams of being a queen
but told my head was not
powerful enough
to put a crown upon
and I'm Still Alive
life has been the most
painful ride
flying high crashing down
through it I still survive
still manage to hold my
pride
And I'm still alive
Forcing tears out of
my eyes to realease
the pain through black cries
and I'm Still Alive
Getting suspended
from school because
the bullies would not
stop and
my highschool authorities
did not help
so I took matters into my
own hands
And I'm Still Alive
Been told I was
loved
when it was all
a lie
Thoughts that I would die
and I'm Still Alive

Conversation with God

Me: God, can I ask You something?

God: Sure

Me: Promise You won't get upset?
...
God: I promise

Me: Why did You let so much stuff happen to me today?

God: What do u mean?

Me: I woke up late and I missed my bus this morning

God: Yes

Me: my ex doesn't pay me attention anymore

God: Okay

Me: I didn't even get time to study so I think I might fail and these random guys keep hitting on me in psych class and the one I want puts no effort

God: Huummm

Me: On the way home with Hanna all these gangster guys in philly stared at me like I was a happy meal

God: All right

Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home all my food was gone. So now I'm hungry and I have to cook again

God: Let me see, the death angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one
of My Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that.

Me (humbled): OH

GOD: I didn't let you catch the bus because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit the bus on the road

Me: (ashamed)

God: Your ex is a loser and I'm saving you for a winner who has faith in me and can be spiritually, mentally and physically empowered.

Me (embarrassed): ok

God: You did not make time to study and now this should make you work harder and I made sure to take time creating you so expect more stares some people never get noticed.

Me (softly): I see God

God: Oh and that food of yours someone put something bad in it and I made sure it was gone before you got home.

Me: I'm Sorry God

God: Don't be sorry, just learn to Trust Me.... in All things , the Good & the bad.

Me: I will trust You.

God: And don't doubt that My plan for your day is Always Better than your plan.

Me: I won't God. And let me just tell you God, Thank You for Everything today.

God: You're welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I Love looking after My Children...

REPOST if you Believe in HIM♥

why? answers I always wanted to know.

Yess, I love to ask questions, why? Yes, that is your boyfriend I said he was cute he said I was too. You mad? Why?  Your hair is not done why? This blog is killing me why? I have to write grammatically correct just to prove I'm educated why? I have to read. study. learn. just to make a decent amount of money legally and earn a degree why? We all die why?  We talk all the time on Facebook but in person you're a stranger why? You're reading this blog, why? The day I make it you're going to be all in my face like we use to be mad close why?  Why did this girl ask me where I bought my shoes today? You do not have you're own style why? Why do you stare at me boy like everyday? Why do you think I'm rude when i'm just speaking the truth? Why does everything have to be perfect I am only human? You have tattoos so that means you're cool why? You don't understand me why? LOVE is o hard to find, why?You think you fly cause you can afford Gucci why? You said I was ugly but now you're asking for my number why? You stabbed me in the back and tried to hide the knife why? You go out of your way to get buzz instead of being yourself why? You automatically assume you're getting all these girls cause you have a car, why? You cut the middle of you're eyebrows why? You wear vans because of the pack song from 2006 why? You say Nicky Minaj can't rap but you blasting Romans Revenge in your car why? You hate me on a regular but love me when you need me why? You're fake, why? You think I'm pretty why?  You think I'm ugly why? You underestimated my talent why? Hip hop is dead. why? I am doing this blog three times a week why? I am catching a cold, why? I have a test tomorrow, why? My butt hurts why? He said he will always be there but left, why? You're a liar why? Shorty always trying to fit in, why? You don't' believe in marriage why? You pierced your tongue why? If you're mad right now, why? It's eleven I have to wake up at seven and  I'm still up why? Life is not fair why? Things never go as planned why? I am chaste and you don't understand, why? Your name is Abdul Malik Muhammad but you're not muslim why? You calling me a nobody but always trying to hold a convo with me why? You think I'm smart but I'm really retarded why?You think I'm different but I'm just like everybody else why? You said my song is dope but you didn't download it why? You call me sister but you're never there for me why? College is a lot of work and this is not the hard part why? You smile in my face but hate me why? You want to see me fail but I always prevail why? God loves me why? You don't why? You think this is pointless why? I told you the truth and you got mad why? You expect so much from me why? Bad things are easy to do, Good things are difficult to do why? You don't study and try to cheat of my test why? You're always asking me for my notes in class. You don't take your own WHY?

Dreams money couldn't buy.

I know where my mind at
and He thought he reached his
climax
Fool think he in love but
his heart in his  manhood so I know
hell never find that
Many men think I'm sexist
but pussy is sacred so I know I gotta
protect it
most of em won't accept it
but the truth always been rejected so thats
already expected
I made a promise to myself today
to have the courage to speak on what cowards
afraid to say.  I'm holding on to my intention
of doing this everyday
Most just sit and watch the violence
lately I've been feeling like a coward too cuz I
blended into the silence
I see the future in front of Earth with no prosperity
behind it.
A lot of underground rappers mad cuz
of short expectations, how you not speaking
from the heart and still expecting to make it?
Artists taking vacations, without reason for celebration
then came back to the game expecting her to remain
patient.
I'm really getting impatient, to the point of starting to fear it
society attention deficit and they don't
hear the meaning in my lyrics, pain made my eyes red and eye drops
couldn't clear it. The road black in front of me but my golden
heart couldn't fear it. I'm waiting for my appearance. I'm waiting for the shinging light.
Back in the day when I was spitting
guys said that it was aight. But the lies came out from fright, they was afraid
to come short by admitting I was better, I could see it in their height.
Sometimes with too much  pride we lose the truth, and sometimes with too much
pressure to succeed we lose our conscious in the booth
I'm speaking this for you
How dare you attack the whores? When they crying out for love but no one
opens the door. and the more I speak about how they feel they want me to speak more
taking this route comes with sores, but id rather do it right and fly then do it wrong and fall down to the floor.  some hate it when I speak and some just don't understand
I know what you don't and that is we come hand in hand
one day ill be living your life on the stands if it's a part of Gods plan.

Colonades (BRick city)

grew up in Brick City 25 Clifton ave
a peaceful afternoon at the park I never had
six years old with the mind of an old hag
pass by the stoops,  stroll by the drug dealer in
the coop, then to francias  house with the fufu& light soup
blowing through the roof
Aisha asking neighbors for 25 cents to eat some chips
I remember the third floor is where I got my first kiss
running down the stairs filled with pisss soaking through
my sneakers
5 minute walk to school getting scolded by the catholic
school teachers
learning words like comprehension at six
thats where I got my book and street smarts
the fights at the lobby is where I got my street marks
I could never forget it, jasmine pulling my hair
I can bet she later regret it, never compromising
myself you can quote me when I said it
grab my words from the shelf, encyclopedia of
learnards

Dying Lonely

If God loves me why can't any body else?
everyone is in love and I'm all alone by myself?
alone in the dark with no fire nor spark
on a mission to find love like I'm Louis and Clark
no one to  tender my heart, everyone left marks
so now it's pitch black like the bottom of the ocean
so tired of being hurt, so sick of hoping, us humans wait and wait while
witches make love potions
eyes wet and soaked,  the tissues wipe away the tears but not the
pain
writing away my agony just so I can keep my sane
what do I do when I feel like no one wants me
I want to shine in the darkness but my past always
haunts me
my conscious tells I'm not pretty enough I'm not worthy enough
of being loved
waiting like the ugly duckling was hoping to transform into
a dove
everything starts good and then my companion
leaves me just because
now I can't tell the difference between the real and fake
cuz when it comes to love I always seem to make mistakes
lonely nights wishing someone was there to hold me,
my greatest fear is not being in love,
my greatest fear is dying lonely.

Too Good.

telling me that my gap is too big
and my nose is too wide
pointing out my imperfections
just to lower my pride

As soon as I say I'm leaving
you tell me you'll change with time
The clock stopped ticking and you
still haven't changed
you put your ps3 away but you're
still playing games

random rhymes

they come for the physical

and not for mental

guys always give up when they 

realize my credential

like no sex before the ring

the clitoris won't sing til

its happiness he brings 

I remember when I wanted to give in

outcast to the globe man I could never fit in 

I thought it was a curse but it really is a gift

wrapped up in heaven, Lord sealed it 

with a kiss 

my story should be told, the painful should

be hold 

life is bi polar so lean on your own shoulder 

if you don't listen ima have to tell you that I told ya 

so when ya sewing ima have to say that you reaped it

when you sharing sinful bottles I will have to tell

ya keep it. 

we use to kick it in the inner city circle, but I was about the green$$ and you were about the purple, the haze will soon desert you leave you in the dirt and hurt you.

dont rap like you already made it and you can't even get a pick

im rapping cuz im hungry as hell living under an oak tree stick 

life I chose

red thorns around my head
bleeding out memories of the past
if I had to lose
today then id rather die instead blue tears
deep puddles wet for many years
my heart could bust  and nobody would care
blood surrounding the globe
pain surrounding the nose, I'm trying
to not give in Allah made an outcast I was
born to not fit in.

quotes that mean a lot some by me some by others

Parents spend 2 years teaching their child to walk and talk and then spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut up.


I hate it when I can't stop thinking about that one person, and deep down inside I know they probably haven't thought about me once.

That awkward moment when you get home from school and look at yourself in the mirror thinking 'did I really look like this all day?'

Be the girl you want your daughter to be. Be the girl you want your son to date. Be classy, anything but trashy.<3


Don't get my personality and my attitude twisted, because my personality is me, and my attitude depends on you.


I felt special until I saw you talk to everyone like that.


It's ironic how we ignore those who want us, want those who ignore us, love those who hurt us, and hurt those who love us.

IF I had an ipod; MY RAW PLAYLIST

Surahs
Arabic Music
Reggae
Jazz
Asher Roth- common knowledge
Nas- All of his songs
LL Cool J- Around the way girl
LL Cool J- All of his songs
Sade- Most of her songs
Jazmine Sullivan- Dream Big
J.COLE - DREAMS
J.COLE- LOST ONES
MEEK MILLZ- MIDDLE OF THE SUMMER
MEEL MILLZ- DREAM CHASERS
BIG L- TIMES IS HARD ON THE BOULEVARD
BIG L- Freestyles
LAURYN HILL- EVERYTHING IS EVERYTHING
LAURYN HILL- WHOLE MISEDUCATION OF LAURYN HILL ALBUM
Janelle Monae- Archandroid Album
THE LOX FT LIL KIM- MONEY, POWER, RESPECT
SOASIN- SEVEN YEARS
Paramore- Handfull of songs
TUPAC- BRENDA GOT A BABY
TUPAC- KEEP YA HEAD UP
TUPAC- DEAR MAMA
MYA- FALLEN
T.R.E- GREW UP
DMX- ANTHEM
LUPE FIASCO- THE COOL
LUPE FIASCO- PARIS, TOKYO
LUPE FIASCO- MY HEAD
LUPE FIASCO - FRIENDS OF THE PEOPLE MIXTAPE
LUPE FIASCO- DUMB IT DOWN
NICKY MINAJ- PLAYTIME IS OVER & SUCKA FREE MIXTAPE
MASE- COMING OUT
MASE- BREATH, STRETCH, SHAKE, LET IT GO
WALE- AMBITIOUS GIRL
WALE- NUMBER ONE
WALE- MORE ABOUT NOTHING Mixtape
WALE- BREAK UP SONG
QUEEN LATIFAH- LADIES FIRST
BRANDY- HAVE YOU EVER
CHRIS BROWN- MOST OF HIS SONGS <3
TIWA SAVAGE- LOVE, LOVE, LOVE ME
TIWA SAVAGE- KELE KELE LOVE
DBANJI- FALL IN LOVE
DRAKE- SO FAR GONE MIXTAPE
DRAKE- TAKE CARE ALBUM
JOJO- HAND FULL OF HER SONGS
Kendrick Lamar- Rigamortis
Kendrick Lamar- The Heart pt 2
Kendrick Lamar- Freestyles

black puddles

Niggas talk more than they achieve
Lie and then believe, in their own lies
in their hearts is where they bleed
drowining in their own cries
pointing out who's dirty standing in their
own mud, refreshing their sins with water over their own blood
agony and hate building up black puddles
life is a struggle and everyone faces
troubles
lonely noons and dawns no one there to cuddle
thinking fuck love cuz no one's going to love em
effed up to many girls so who's really going to trust em
thinks this girl is real bad but her past just disgusts him.

I know

The world saying she in pain and I took the blame
cuz I know what God wants
God wants me to save it and I know its my fault
world full of pain, I'm built up in shame
cuz of selfish dreams I was trying to sustain
and I don't think the world would care about what I have
to say, its just Ayinke so who cares anyway.
Then God tells me they might not care today, but they
will care tomorrow. Nothing comes easy you have
to go through the sorrow. tears rolling down my cheek
everytime I speak I'm tryna be strong but inside I feel weak
living without forgiving is living like you in prison
I'm living my intuition, I'm giving it and I'm getting
lost world; lost hope lost souls growth
the world is deceiving can even trust the pope